Re-Adoptions or Re-placement of Adopted Children
Sadly, I have seen a number of international re-adoptions, where adoptive parents have found that the child they adopted was not what they had in mind. For one reason or another, they have placed the child into another adoptive home. This is sad for everyone involved. The child is now facing another uprooting and detachment. The adoptive parents feel they have failed. The birth family, if involved, feels betrayed.
The most important person affected is the child and what they will go through again.
Why are children re-adopted?
Most adoptions are successful, but there are situations when in the best interest of the child that they are placed with a new adoptive family. Re-adoption of a child may occur for a variety of reasons, including:
- Information was withheld by the birth family or orphanage about an issue the child has, so the adoptive parents aren’t prepared to parent a child struggling in this way.
- An adoptive family or one adoptive parent struggles with feelings of rejection toward the adopted child.
- The adoptive family can’t cope with the serious medical or psychological issues of the child.
- The child is a danger to themselves, or others, or to the adoptive family.
- Death of one of the adoptive parents
- Divorce of the adoptive parents
These situations are sad for everyone involved, but it’s especially sad for the child who gets uprooted and may struggle with feelings of rejection.
A few years ago, I assisted in the adoption of a bright and happy two-year-old who had been living with his grandmother. The adoptive parents she chose started the process of adoption and then, four months into the adoption, found out they were pregnant and wanted to “return” him.
Of course, I was sad and concerned at their lack of dedication to parenting, but my attention was to the toddler that needed a new family ASAP. The grandmother was rightfully shocked and mistrusting of the process. It made it hard for the next adoptive family and the child to re-bond.
I ask you to be sure you, your spouse, and your family members are ready to parent with dedication no matter what happens in the future. Is your personality one of dedication and loyalty to the end? Be honest for the sake of the child.
So, with this said, I remind you to be aware of the needs ahead of time. Be honest on what you can and cannot handle in the way of parenting and time commitment. If you have a full-time job and can’t take time off to bond with your child, then perhaps an older child is not the right choice for you and your family.
Are you thinking about re-adopting or re-homing your adopted child?
Every circumstance is unique and Lifetime’s key priority is in the child’s best interest, which is to find them a new adoptive family.
It’s hard to admit you need to re-home your adopted child because you don’t have the ability to parent at this time. We are here to support you, be a listening ear, and do what is best for the child. If a new adoptive family is needed, normally, one can be found within a short period of time.
Please get in touch with Lifetime Adoption for more information about the re-adoption process and adoption placement. There is no judgment and no cost to you.
Are you considering the re-adoption of a child?
If you’re considering the re-adoption of a child, be sure you, your spouse, and your entire family are ready for this commitment. Is your personality suited for this kind of dedication to the end for the sake of the child?
You’ll be made aware of the child’s issues and needs, but it’s important that you’re honest about what you can or can’t handle as a parent. Bonding with the child may be difficult or take longer because of the nature of this type of adoption. You must make this decision with your entire family. Here are some questions to consider if you’re thinking about re-adoption:
- Can you give one-on-one attention to the child, especially during the transitional period?
- Is this re-adoption something the entire family wants?
- Are you ready to commit to this child no matter what comes up?
- Do you have experience working with kids like this?
- Do you have resources available to help you if needed?
- Are you ready to deal with the birth family who is feeling worried and potentially mistrusting?
Because the re-adoption is essentially a child-centered decision, the final decision about who will adopt the child will be in the hands of social workers, the current adoptive family, and the adoption service provider you’ve hired.
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