Before you adopt a baby, it’s important to strengthen your relationship and marriage. After all, a birth mother is seeking in you what she can’t provide her child right now: stability and security.
Today, Lifetime is sharing 10 conversation starters you can use to begin and continue to effectively communicate with your spouse.
During your wait to be chosen by a birth mother, you might find your relationship takes a toll. “Spend time together talking and praying about what each of you wants for your family” shares Lifetime’s Founder and adoptive mother, Mardie Caldwell. She continues, “Once you have a child in your lives, your time as a couple will change dramatically. So I encourage you to make the best of your adoption wait by connecting with each other and cherishing this time. You can build newfound bonds that will help you in parenting also. I found this to be very helpful in my adoption journey.”
Here are our top 10 conversation starters for adoptive couples:
1. What are two things that happened today, and how did you feel about them?
2. Describe one of your favorite elementary school teachers. Then describe a favorite high school teacher or college professor.
3. What do you remember about learning to drive?
4. What is something you collected as a child or teen?
5. If you were given five acres or land, where would you want it to be and what would you want to do with it?
6. Complete this sentence: ‘It would make me a better person if I were more like you in the way you…”
7. Regardless of how long I live, I hope I will always…
8. In retrospect, what is something that your parents were wise in doing in raising you?
9. What is something you thoroughly enjoyed as a child and have not done in years?
10. What is something that occurred this past year that you are especially thankful for?
These conversation starters were excerpted from the best-selling book 101 Conversation Starters for Couples by Gary Chapman and Ramon Presson. It’s a handy resource you can use to get you and your spouse chatting. Couples who have used the book share that it enhanced their relationship and allowed them to fully know their spouse.
Founder of Lifetime Adoption, adoptive mom, adoption expert, and Certified Open Adoption Practitioner (C.O.A.P).
Since 1986, adoption expert Mardie Caldwell has been dedicated to bringing couples and birth parents together in order to fulfill their dreams.
“Many years ago, I was also searching for a child to adopt. We didn’t know where or how to get started. Through research, determination, and a prayer, our dream of a family became reality. I started with a plan, a notebook, assistance from a caring adoption consultant and a lot of hard work; this was my family I was building. We had a few heartaches along the way, but the pain of not having children was worse!
Within weeks we had three different birth mothers choose us. We were overwhelmed and delighted. Many unsettling events would take place before our adoption would be finalized, many months later. Little did I know that God was training and aligning me for the adoption work I now do today. It is my goal to share with our families the methods and plans which succeed and do not succeed. I believe adoption should be affordable and can be a wonderful “pregnancy” for the adoptive couple.
I have also been on both sides of infertility with the loss of seven pregnancies and then conceiving by new technology, giving birth to a healthy daughter. I have experienced first-hand the emotional pain of infertility and believe my experience allows me to serve your needs better.
It is my hope that for you, the prospective parents, your desire for a child will be fulfilled soon.”