The wait to adopt might feel extra difficult during the holiday season. Today, I’d like to share tips that will help you survive the holidays during your adoption wait.
When we were waiting to be chosen by our son’s birth mother, what really helped me was to keep a positive outlook. I strived to remember the many promises God had kept for me at other times in my life. I knew I had done all I could to get the word out about our desire to adopt. Worrying wasn’t going to help me but what did help was believing that soon we would have a child of our own. When I would feel discouraged throughout the holidays, I would give my concerns over to God again, and I would find peace.
It was the next Christmas that we had our beautiful son with us. I look back now and realize that God had the right child for us at the right time. His timing is perfect. Don’t ever give up faith, and live each day positively.
It’s challenging to experience the holidays while you’re in the thick of your adoption journey. Know that it’s normal to feel anxious and depressed around this time of the year when you’re waiting to adopt.
Here are Lifetime’s top 6 tips on coping with the holidays during your adoption wait (and one bonus tip!):
- Treat Yourselves
Do something special for yourself and your spouse. Some fun ideas include a couple’s massage or weekend away. Also, make sure you’re taking care of yourselves by getting enough sleep, choosing healthy foods, exercising, and drinking plenty of water.
- Treat Others
Do something special for your family too. You might make them something personalized such as a family photo album or creative such as a scarf you’ve knitted. Once you’re a parent, you won’t have as much time for elaborate gifts.
- Find Support
Locate a support group for waiting adoptive parents through your local infertility or adoptive parent group. If you’re not able to find a group, connecting via a social media site (such as a Facebook group) is a good idea.
- Evaluate Your Family
What some waiting couples have found handy is to find out who’s attending a family event, and then decide whether to go. Minimal contact with extended family may help you, since they’ll probably be asking you when you’ll bring your baby home. For some, this solution is a bit too harsh, as they feel supported by surrounding themselves with people who love them.
- Read Success Stories
Make sure to visit our Lifetime Babies page. On it, you can read other adoptive families share about the difficulties they experienced during their adoption wait. The successful adoptive families share that the wait is hard, but the end result, bringing home the baby meant for them, is so worth it!
Also, we have a blog series called “Then and Now” which follows Lifetime adoptive families from the beginning of their adoption journeys through the difficult waiting stage and then once they adopt!
- Keep a Journal
There are many benefits to journaling. Achieving goals, bringing about mindfulness, and boosting self-confidence are just a few. Keeping a journal can help you survive the adoption wait and in the future can reassure your child that she or he is wanted.
BONUS TIP: Lifetime Adoption held a free adoption webinar with Lifetime’s Founder and CEO, Mardie Caldwell. Having gone through the adoption wait herself before being chosen by her son’s birth mother, Mardie shares tips for the wait that every adoptive family will find applicable. You can watch it over at AdoptionWebinar.com.
Founder of Lifetime Adoption, adoptive mom, adoption expert, and Certified Open Adoption Practitioner (C.O.A.P).
Since 1986, adoption expert Mardie Caldwell has been dedicated to bringing couples and birth parents together in order to fulfill their dreams.
“Many years ago, I was also searching for a child to adopt. We didn’t know where or how to get started. Through research, determination, and a prayer, our dream of a family became reality. I started with a plan, a notebook, assistance from a caring adoption consultant and a lot of hard work; this was my family I was building. We had a few heartaches along the way, but the pain of not having children was worse!
Within weeks we had three different birth mothers choose us. We were overwhelmed and delighted. Many unsettling events would take place before our adoption would be finalized, many months later. Little did I know that God was training and aligning me for the adoption work I now do today. It is my goal to share with our families the methods and plans which succeed and do not succeed. I believe adoption should be affordable and can be a wonderful “pregnancy” for the adoptive couple.
I have also been on both sides of infertility with the loss of seven pregnancies and then conceiving by new technology, giving birth to a healthy daughter. I have experienced first-hand the emotional pain of infertility and believe my experience allows me to serve your needs better.
It is my hope that for you, the prospective parents, your desire for a child will be fulfilled soon.”