Before You Adopt: Keep Your Marriage Fresh

by | Aug 21, 2017 | Adoptive Families Blog

Here are some tips on how to keep your marriage fresh while you're in the adoption wait!For many hopeful adoptive parents, there’s a lot of waiting involved in the process. We know that something as important as waiting for adoption can start to feel agonizing!

So in today’s installment of our blog series Before You Adopt, we’re sharing about another thing you can do while you wait to be chosen by a birth mother: keep your marriage fresh.

Lifetime has seen that many times, the adoption wait can put a strain on a couple’s marriage. Today we’re sharing tips on how you can keep your marriage fresh during your adoption process.

Here are just 5 ways that you can show your spouse you love them:

1. Make Time for Date Nights, and watching a movie at home in pajamas doesn’t count! Make an effort to set aside time for just for the two of you to reconnect and to be together. Many people think they’re too busy for a traditional date night, so get creative. Think about the kind of things your spouse is into. Maybe checking out a local baseball game would be fun, or going to a fun painting and wine class.  

2. Do Favors for Them: by doing little favors for them, you’re showing how much you care. Just the right favor at the right time can really show him/her how much you care. For example, you could pick up fresh coffee and a pastry for her if she has a big day at work. Or, you could pick up the book he’s been wanting to read.

3. Try to Get Along With Their Family: by showing your spouse you’re determined to have a positive relationship with his family, you’re showing him that you love him. Doing your best to be friendly with rude family members shows him that his love is more important to you. Sometimes, it feels next to impossible to get along with your in-laws. But by making an effort, then your spouse will see that he really does mean a lot to you. You might try to reach out to his family more often, invite them to lunch, or send flowers on their birthdays.

4. Embrace Their Interests. No need to be obsessed with her favorite band or his favorite baseball team. But your relationship can get stronger if you show an interest in the things they care about. You don’t have to be one of those couples who seem to do everything together, but just making an effort to appreciate the things they love makes a difference. Introduce him to more of your interests, too. 

5. Ask About Their Day: just making an effort to know how your husband’s day went can show him how much you love him.  You don’t need to ask about each little aspect, but checking in and asking how his day went will show your love. 

Heather Featherston

Written by Heather Featherston

As Vice President of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.

Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.

As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.

Read more about Heather Featherston


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