Many times, adoptive parents have gone through multiple miscarriages before turning to adoption. Coming to terms with infertility is something that’s very important for you to do before you bring your baby home through adoption.
We’ve heard from adoptive couples who think that they’ve dealt with their grief surrounding infertility, but feel it strongly once they adopt their baby. Women, in particular, may feel sad that they haven’t given birth to this baby. Or, if they adopted an older child, there may be sadness about not being there for the first months of his or her life.
Ask yourself: why is it that you feel incomplete? Is it because you haven’t given birth or carried a child for 9 months? Hopefully you can reach an acceptance before your adopted baby arrives. But, if your feelings of grief do pop up again, get support. Remember, this is what you’ve been waiting so long for…your baby is here, even if it didn’t happen the way you’d originally imagined.
Millions of families have been blissfully created by adoption. Feelings of sadness surrounding infertility are a normal part of the process. If you are grieving, understand that you’re in a phase and get help. That way, you can move onto the giving your child a place in your home and in your heart. Do so right away so that you can experience the wonderful journey and adventure that parenthood is!
Founder of Lifetime Adoption, adoptive mom, adoption expert, and Certified Open Adoption Practitioner (C.O.A.P).
Since 1986, adoption expert Mardie Caldwell has been dedicated to bringing couples and birth parents together in order to fulfill their dreams.
“Many years ago, I was also searching for a child to adopt. We didn’t know where or how to get started. Through research, determination, and a prayer, our dream of a family became reality. I started with a plan, a notebook, assistance from a caring adoption consultant and a lot of hard work; this was my family I was building. We had a few heartaches along the way, but the pain of not having children was worse!
Within weeks we had three different birth mothers choose us. We were overwhelmed and delighted. Many unsettling events would take place before our adoption would be finalized, many months later. Little did I know that God was training and aligning me for the adoption work I now do today. It is my goal to share with our families the methods and plans which succeed and do not succeed. I believe adoption should be affordable and can be a wonderful “pregnancy” for the adoptive couple.
I have also been on both sides of infertility with the loss of seven pregnancies and then conceiving by new technology, giving birth to a healthy daughter. I have experienced first-hand the emotional pain of infertility and believe my experience allows me to serve your needs better.
It is my hope that for you, the prospective parents, your desire for a child will be fulfilled soon.”