Many times, adoptive parents have gone through multiple miscarriages before turning to adoption. Coming to terms with infertility is something that’s very important for you to do before you bring your baby home through adoption.
We’ve heard from adoptive couples who think that they’ve dealt with their grief surrounding infertility, but feel it strongly once they adopt their baby. Women, in particular, may feel sad that they haven’t given birth to this baby. Or, if they adopted an older child, there may be sadness about not being there for the first months of his or her life.
Ask yourself: why is it that you feel incomplete? Is it because you haven’t given birth or carried a child for 9 months? Hopefully you can reach an acceptance before your adopted baby arrives. But, if your feelings of grief do pop up again, get support. Remember, this is what you’ve been waiting so long for…your baby is here, even if it didn’t happen the way you’d originally imagined.
Millions of families have been blissfully created by adoption. Feelings of sadness surrounding infertility are a normal part of the process. If you are grieving, understand that you’re in a phase and get help. That way, you can move onto the giving your child a place in your home and in your heart. Do so right away so that you can experience the wonderful journey and adventure that parenthood is!