Availability and communication are key when you’re waiting to adopt. If you don’t answer a call or keep in touch with the people involved in your adoption you could risk your opportunity to build the family you’ve longed for.
As we read in yesterday’s post, it’s important to be aware of modern communication’s affect on your adoption success. With a few basic reminders, you’ll be prepared to stay in tune through each phase of your adoption journey.
Here are the remaining tips to help you prepare for a positive experience with as little confusion or misunderstanding as possible.
4. Respect confidentiality: Keep details about your birthmother and aspects about your adoption match private as your adoption unfolds. Do not include your birth mother in mass emails sent to other friends or contacts. Protect her privacy and don’t disclose personal information about your adoption in chat boards, Facebook, email, or any place online where you could compromise confidentiality or your adoption future.
5. Learn to use privacy settings: You’ll have freedom to explore a relationship with your birthmother or adoption professional more if you understand the settings your phone, email, and Facebook profile offer. Protect your privacy without appearing closed-off and impersonal. Set up your own 800# to direct to your cell phone, until you feel comfortable sharing your direct number. Arrange for your email to show only your first names as the contact. When it comes to open adoption, modern communication allows great potential for your on-going relationship, and if you’re aware of how to manage settings you’ll be able to allow growth and trust to develop without feeling like you’re putting your privacy on the back-burner.
6. Behave yourself: As with any communication, good manners go a long way. Even if you disagree with your birthmother or adoption professional, or are confused or disappointed, stay calm and don’t respond in anger. Avoid sarcasm, crude humor or bad language. Remember that emails and texts can be forwarded to others and may be confused in translation. Ask questions when you are unsure, before you react in a way that fuels a terrible misunderstanding. Be clear and polite in all communication.
When in doubt ASK. People feel validated and understood when you ask them to clarify their expectations and needs from you, especially when it comes to how to best stay in touch. Plus, when you ask what they expect it gives you opportunity to express your own needs and requests. With a little common sense, basic old-fashioned etiquette and thoughtfulness, and priority given to your adoption you will reduce stress and eliminate potential disappointment.