Help! I’m Scared of the Adoption Process

by | Feb 12, 2015 | Adoptive Families Blog

scared Mother holding her newborn baby's handIt’s no surprise that you may be scared of the adoption process. After all, adoption is a major decision! But fear and intimidation don’t have to be a part of your adoption. Choosing to work with experienced and caring professionals who will be there to walk you through the process step by step can do wonders for addressing your concerns and showing you that adoption isn’t so scary after all.

But how will you know if you’re working with the best in the business? That’s where being a smart consumer comes in.

When selecting an agency to work with, one of the first questions you should ask is how long the agency has been around. The more experience, the better. In addition to being able to address your fears and concerns, knowledgeable agencies can work smarter and faster to get you to your goal of bringing home your own little bundle of joy. Experienced professionals have also witnessed a wide range of life circumstances that allow them to think quickly and creatively about your needs.

For many families, working with a Christian adoption agency can be essential. This is especially true for those who feel they have been specifically called to adoption. Men and women within Christian agencies often feel that they, too, have a special adoption calling: to provide prayerful services to waiting families and birth parents. And there really is no better way to alleviate the scary side of adoption than by knowing you have a praying, believing support network working to protect you as well as find your perfect match.

Although it may sound odd, an agency’s strong online presence is also a great way to address your fears head-on. You will likely spend many nights searching for answers to your adoption questions, hoping for any and every bit of information to soothe your worries. Your agency’s website should be your first stop! Technology also allows birth parents and adoptive families to learn more about each other through the use of personalized videos, blogs, and online descriptions. Lifetime families are given an opportunity to create individualized online content that birthparents can access at any time, which increases the odds of quickly finding the right adoption match.

Reputable agencies should also provide you with a list of references, both previous adoptive parents and adoption professionals, namely attorneys.  You should ask for and receive a service agreement that you can review with an attorney, and be provided a reasonable time frame with which to do so.  

Steer clear of arrangements that are situation-based unless you know what happens to your paid-in fees if the situation doesn’t materialize.  If a birthparent changing her mind would leave you “locked in” with an adoption professional who may not be your first choice, it may be best to steer clear of situation-based adoptions all together.

It’s perfectly normal to feel afraid of the adoption process, but finding the right adoption experts to work with can do wonders for alleviating your concerns. If you’re ready to get started, complete Lifetime’s free online application.


Heather Featherston

Written by Heather Featherston

As Vice President of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.

Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.

As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.

Read more about Heather Featherston

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