Many times, we want to be a help and support for families who are in the process of adopting. Perhaps they are waiting to be chosen by a birth mother, waiting to move forward until they have the funding in place, or even waiting until there is a spot available in the particular adoption program they have chosen. We know that they are in a time or waiting and want to do something to support and celebrate their decision. But what can we do that is both supportive and appropriate during this time of waiting?
As a friend or family member, there are many things you can do to support a family who is waiting to adopt. And many of them may not be too time consuming or difficult. Here is a list to get you started:
- Ask them what you can do to help. They may need help with their profile or childcare while they complete paperwork. Maybe you can help with research or making phone calls. Let them know you want to be a help to them on this journey and that you are willing to do legwork if needed.
- Help them with fundraising or participate in their efforts. Even a small gift toward their goal is appreciated. If you want to put on a fundraiser for them, consider a garage sale or spaghetti feed. These are fun opportunities to bring people together. And, you will learn that when you share that it is an adoption fundraiser, more people will give and participate.
- Be a prayer warrior for them. Intercessory prayer is a powerful tool that we all have. Pray for the family as well as the child that they will adopt. Consider an Adoption Prayer Bracelet to remind you to pray, or as a thoughtful gift for them.
- Encourage them! There is a tendency for all of us, when waiting for something, to complain about the wait. Remind them that God is in control and that He has a plan for them. Staying positive for them will help them stay positive to. Consider finding for them a devotional or day brightener that is focused on faith, especially faith in God’s timing. (I keep one on my desk that is a verse each day focusing on God’s promises and blessings.)
- Be a friend that enjoys days with them now. Doing things together that you’ve always done is a way to spend time together during this time of waiting. Life goes on each and every day, even when we are in a time of waiting. Enjoy this time together without worrying about what tomorrow holds. Make plans together, knowing that they could be changed but that is part of the flexibility required in adoption.
Do you have other ideas on how to support families who are waiting to adopt? Share it below with us!
P.S. Here is one of my favorite verses about waiting: “I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I put my hope.” Psalm 130:5
Founder of Lifetime Adoption, adoptive mom, adoption expert, and Certified Open Adoption Practitioner (C.O.A.P).
Since 1986, adoption expert Mardie Caldwell has been dedicated to bringing couples and birth parents together in order to fulfill their dreams.
“Many years ago, I was also searching for a child to adopt. We didn’t know where or how to get started. Through research, determination, and a prayer, our dream of a family became reality. I started with a plan, a notebook, assistance from a caring adoption consultant and a lot of hard work; this was my family I was building. We had a few heartaches along the way, but the pain of not having children was worse!
Within weeks we had three different birth mothers choose us. We were overwhelmed and delighted. Many unsettling events would take place before our adoption would be finalized, many months later. Little did I know that God was training and aligning me for the adoption work I now do today. It is my goal to share with our families the methods and plans which succeed and do not succeed. I believe adoption should be affordable and can be a wonderful “pregnancy” for the adoptive couple.
I have also been on both sides of infertility with the loss of seven pregnancies and then conceiving by new technology, giving birth to a healthy daughter. I have experienced first-hand the emotional pain of infertility and believe my experience allows me to serve your needs better.
It is my hope that for you, the prospective parents, your desire for a child will be fulfilled soon.”