During your adoption wait, you might find that you need extra help to work through some of the emotions that arise. Seeking help from a licensed adoption counselor can be an invaluable tool in learning ways of coping, reacting, or addressing some of the challenges and feelings.
Please know that there’s no “wrong” reason for seeking adoption counseling services when you’re waiting to adopt. After all, the wait can be stressful and filled with anxious highs and disappointing lows.
Here are a few examples of scenarios for which previous adoptive families have sought adoption counseling services:
- Feeling like they just want to give up because the wait is too long.
- Impatience with the process, especially when it seems so ‘easy’ for friends to conceive biologically.
- Discovering a sense of loss for the unfulfilled dream of pregnancy.
- Marital struggles that arise, seemingly out of nowhere or are magnified by the adoption process.
- Disagreement over adoption preferences and goals.
- Loss with a failed match or reclaim.
- Simply to have more support.
Wondering “How do I find a counselor?” Start with your health insurance coverage to identify if there are specific providers covered. Ask your physician for referrals to trained professionals in your area. You may not find counselors who are trained to deal with the specific issues of adoption, but most any Marriage and Family Counselor will be able to help you.
If you need to work on issues within your marriage, it is important that both spouses be committed to working on the challenges together. Remember the adage “it takes two,” that goes for counseling too!
Visiting with a counselor may uncover other issues, that are popping up now in unexpected ways. That is very common in adoption. Similarly, getting to know a counselor now may help if, in the future after your adoption, you are feeling the ‘baby blues,’ also known as Post-Adoption Depression.
Whatever struggle you may be feeling, please remember that you don’t have to go it alone and without help. A trained counselor is there to help you. Reach out for the extra support.
Lifetime holds free adoption webinars once a month. Go to AdoptionWebinar.com to watch webinar recordings and to sign up for future webinar notifications. These webinars provide an uplifting time of sharing, through adoption success stories or tips for increasing your opportunities for success. Yet for some parents-in-waiting, an outside counselor can help find other ways to focus more on the future ahead with less anxiety.
Founder of Lifetime Adoption, adoptive mom, adoption expert, and Certified Open Adoption Practitioner (C.O.A.P).
Since 1986, adoption expert Mardie Caldwell has been dedicated to bringing couples and birth parents together in order to fulfill their dreams.
“Many years ago, I was also searching for a child to adopt. We didn’t know where or how to get started. Through research, determination, and a prayer, our dream of a family became reality. I started with a plan, a notebook, assistance from a caring adoption consultant and a lot of hard work; this was my family I was building. We had a few heartaches along the way, but the pain of not having children was worse!
Within weeks we had three different birth mothers choose us. We were overwhelmed and delighted. Many unsettling events would take place before our adoption would be finalized, many months later. Little did I know that God was training and aligning me for the adoption work I now do today. It is my goal to share with our families the methods and plans which succeed and do not succeed. I believe adoption should be affordable and can be a wonderful “pregnancy” for the adoptive couple.
I have also been on both sides of infertility with the loss of seven pregnancies and then conceiving by new technology, giving birth to a healthy daughter. I have experienced first-hand the emotional pain of infertility and believe my experience allows me to serve your needs better.
It is my hope that for you, the prospective parents, your desire for a child will be fulfilled soon.”