Many times when speaking to potential adoptive parents, I find that they become a little nervous when the conversation gets to the open part of open adoption.
I’ve found that many parents simply don’t know what to expect. When they hear about sharing letters and photos (or even visits) with a birth mother, they often become quite uncomfortable.
The reality is that for children of open adoption, contact with or knowledge of their birth mother is absolutely normal. There are few questions of who or why, it is just naturally part of their heritage.
As far as contact with a birth mother, when the match is being made through an agency or facilitator, one of the major things that should be considered is what each party is committed to with the degree of contact.
No one wants to see a birth mother heartbroken when her chosen family fails to keep their commitment or make a commitment when it comes to contact. And also, a family shouldn’t feel as though they have to agree to something they are not comfortable with, simply to be successful with adoption.
There are wonderful children’s books out there for parents who would like to build a library for their children to help teach them why adoption makes them so special, and why their birth mothers are incredible people who made their safe, loving, secure life possible.
One of the best ways to become less intimidated about open adoption is to learn from others’ stories. Sign up for Lifetime Adoption’s free webinar series on open adoption. It’ll help you discover how open adoption works for actual adoptive families, who are living in open adoption every day. You can get access to the webinars by signing up here!
As Vice President of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.
Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.
As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.