Many couples undergoing fertility treatments wonder how they’ll know it’s the right time to stop trying for a biological child and start the adoption process. It’s not a simple answer, and for every parent it is different. In your marriage, you may find one spouse arrives at this place before the other, which is completely normal.
I suggest that you to seek in your hearts whether now’s time to transition from fertility treatments to adoption. As a fertility patient myself, I’ve experienced seven pregnancy losses. Once my husband and I decided it was time to pursue adoption as our route to parenthood, we were blessed with the adoption of our son. Here are two signs that it might be time to consider your options through adoption:
- When you feel being a mom is more important than being pregnant.
The means you come to the realization that you don’t want to keep waiting to become a parent. If you feel like you’ve come to this point, ask yourself (and your spouse) if you could love a child not biologically related to you. Think about your husband; he’s not biologically related to you and you love him with all your heart. Many couples have come to the realization that the desire to become parents is greater than the desire to be pregnant. In fact many couples make that change after their fertility specialist told them that it’s unlikely they’d get pregnant without more invasive methods.
- When you’re exhausted from the fertility treatment rollercoaster and the “28 day fail.”
The 28 day fail is sometimes used to describe the feeling women get when every 28 days they fail a pregnancy test. Your hopes are up every 28 days, but each time, the test turns up negative. If you choose adoption to build your family, you can go into it knowing that there is a child at the end of the journey. With fertility treatments, there may not be.
Please join me here next Monday, where I’ll share two more indicators that it could be time to turn from fertility treatments to adoption.
Founder of Lifetime Adoption, adoptive mom, adoption expert, and Certified Open Adoption Practitioner (C.O.A.P).
Since 1986, adoption expert Mardie Caldwell has been dedicated to bringing couples and birth parents together in order to fulfill their dreams.
“Many years ago, I was also searching for a child to adopt. We didn’t know where or how to get started. Through research, determination, and a prayer, our dream of a family became reality. I started with a plan, a notebook, assistance from a caring adoption consultant and a lot of hard work; this was my family I was building. We had a few heartaches along the way, but the pain of not having children was worse!
Within weeks we had three different birth mothers choose us. We were overwhelmed and delighted. Many unsettling events would take place before our adoption would be finalized, many months later. Little did I know that God was training and aligning me for the adoption work I now do today. It is my goal to share with our families the methods and plans which succeed and do not succeed. I believe adoption should be affordable and can be a wonderful “pregnancy” for the adoptive couple.
I have also been on both sides of infertility with the loss of seven pregnancies and then conceiving by new technology, giving birth to a healthy daughter. I have experienced first-hand the emotional pain of infertility and believe my experience allows me to serve your needs better.
It is my hope that for you, the prospective parents, your desire for a child will be fulfilled soon.”