There are as many different types of adoption plans out there as there are women choosing adoption for their child. Each birth mother’s plan is different: one might want to choose the adoptive family for her baby, while another wants Lifetime to choose. Also, one may want in-person visits with the family and her child, but another wants no contact after she places.
Here are three example adoption plans; your plan might end up looking like one of these woman’s, or it may be totally different.
This birth mother chose semi-open adoption:
“I found out I was pregnant when I was in my junior year of college. Having a baby then just wasn’t going to work: I’d planned on going on to medical school! My baby’s dad offered to pay for an abortion, but I ended up putting my baby up for adoption. I was pretty open with what I wanted in the adoptive parents for my son. I just wanted a two-parent family who loved each other.
Now, I get updates on my son by the Facebook posts his adoptive parents make, and also by Skyping with them. Since they live on the West coast and I live on the East coast, visits just aren’t practical for me right now and I’m fine with that. When I saw on Sykpe how happy my son was with them and how loving they are with him, I knew that I’d made the right decision!”
And this woman chose a closed adoption:
“When I learned I was pregnant again, I was already struggling to parent the two kids I already had. Their fathers weren’t in the picture at all…they were both deadbeats and didn’t help me. So, I was freaking out over what I’d do! A friend told me about adoption, so I decided to see what it was all about. I called Lifetime and talked to Diane…it was such a relief to have the option of adoption! I ended up talking to her a lot during my pregnancy. I came to really trust her, so I told her I’d like for Lifetime to choose an adoptive couple for my baby.
Once I was firm in my decision to adopt out my baby daughter, I knew it’d be more difficult for me if I saw her. So, I made sure to include in my birth plan that I didn’t want to see my baby or hold her after delivery…and I made plenty of copies of my plan so everyone at the hospital would know. Today, I don’t have any contact with the adoptive couple who adopted her, but I trust that she’s doing well now because I have confidence that Diane picked a great couple.”
A third birth mother chose open adoption:
“I was a sophomore in high school when my boyfriend and I found out I was pregnant! We both had big plans for our futures, and having a baby wasn’t in them. We’re both pro-life so we knew early on we’d do adoption.
I was really picky in my search for the right adoptive family for my baby boy. They had to be devout Catholics, live near me, had no kids, and I wanted a stay-at-home mom. Oh, and I also wanted them to be physically fit and enjoy the outdoors like my boyfriend and me! My Adoption Coordinator Veronica had to mail 3 separate sets of adoptive family profiles for me to review.
When my boyfriend and I finally found the right adoptive parents for our son, I was just a few weeks away from my due date. I wanted the adoptive mom to be at the hospital when I delivered, and I also wanted to have a few days to love on my son and say goodbye to him.
Today, I’m a freshman in college and I’m still with my boyfriend. We go to the same school; he’s majoring in business and I’m majoring in either English or psychology-I haven’t decided. We have visits with our son’s adoptive family and our son once or twice a year. These visits really help me to know I made the right choice. I know they’re his parents and I’d never think of trying to take him back, but the visits are great. We meet up at a park in their town or go out to eat.”
As you think about your choices with the different types of adoption plans, we’d like you to know you we’re here for your 24/7. Lifetime’s toll-free line is always staffed with caring Adoption Coordinators…just call 1-800-923-6784. If you’re thinking about adoption, requesting our FREE Adoption Planning Kit is a good first step.
As Vice President of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.
Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.
As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.