Are you browsing adoptive family profiles to find just the right parents to raise your child? There’s a lot to keep in mind when you’re making this selection. It’s a big decision with a lot of factors to consider.
So that you can make a choice that you feel comfortable with, Lifetime is sharing three questions to keep in mind. Ask yourself these three questions as you’re going through the process of picking adoptive parents:
1. What values are really important to you?
Think about the values, beliefs, and morals that you can’t compromise on. For some women, religious beliefs are a requirement, and many prefer that the adoptive couple are of a specific religion. Is it important to you that religion plays an active role in your child’s life? Lifetime has many Christian adoptive parents, of a variety of denominations, such as Methodist, Lutheran, Presbyterian, Episcopalian, Catholic, and Baptist. Also, family values and morals play a big role in choosing adoptive parents. If strong family values are important to you, make sure that you read their “Dear Birthmother letter” text closely, especially the sections about their faith and church involvement.
2. How do you imagine your child’s future?
When you picture your child’s future, what do you see? Consider the experiences and opportunities that you want for him/her. If a quality education is important to you, take a look at where the adoptive parents live. Is it in an area that is known for quality education? Does their area have both public and private schools?
The location also affects the type of life your child will live. Does the couple write about a family-friendly neighborhood that has other children? Consider whether you’d like your child to grow up in an urban area, the suburbs, or a small town.
3. What size and type of family would you like for your child?
Maybe you grew up with brothers and sisters, and want that for your child too. Or, maybe you’d like your child to be the firstborn. The choice is yours! Check out the section of their “Dear Birthmother letter” about their family. Does the adoptive couple have a large family? Do they live near their parents who will become proud and loving grandparents? Do they have brothers and sisters so that your child will have aunts, uncles and possibly cousins?
Take a look at why the couple is adopting, too. Many birth mothers that Lifetime has worked with prefer to place with a couple who are adopting because they’re not able to have a baby biologically.
When browsing adoptive parent profiles, it might seem impossible to pick just one. Lifetime suggests that you choose your top three families, and then talk on the phone to get to know them better.
Lifetime is here to help you and answer your questions during this process.
Mardie Caldwell, C.O.A.P., is nationally recognized as an expert on open adoption. A Certiﬁed Open Adoption Practitioner (C.O.A.P.), Caldwell is the founder of Lifetime Adoption Center, established in 1986. She has assisted in over 2,000 successful adoptions and was one of the ﬁrst adoption professionals on the Internet.
Caldwell’s life work is dedicated to educating and helping birth parents find the right adoptive parents for their child. She spreads the word about modern adoption through speaking appearances, webinars, online resources, and as a podcast show host.
She has written several award-winning books, including So I Was Thinking About Adoption, the first book of its kind. There are many reasons women choose adoption, and this short book is a comprehensive resource to make the best plan for you and your baby. Caldwell wrote So I Was Thinking About Adoption as a handy guide to the details of the adoption process.
Caldwell has made over 150 media appearances, including ABC News, CBS News, Larry King Live, CNN Headline News, NBC’s The Today Show, CNN’s The Campbell Brown Show, NBC News, KGO Newstalk Radio, CNN’s Black in America II, MSNBC, Fox, PBS, BBC, and Dr. Laura.