People will tell you all kinds of crazy things when you are pregnant. Especially if they have their own agenda and might want you to raise your baby, even if you aren’t ready. One thing that you may have heard is that it’s selfish to ask someone else to “adopt my baby.” This is just one of the many myths about adoption.
Adoption isn’t selfish if you are doing it for the right reasons
And what are the right reasons? It depends on your individual situation. If you feel that you won’t be able to give a child the life you think they deserve, one filled with love and plenty of financial support for the many costs that come along with having kids, then considering having someone adopt your baby is maybe the most unselfish thing you can do.
Adoption can actually be a very generous gift that you give your baby if you suspect that another family can provide a chance at a happy childhood. Even though you may want to offer your child these things, it’s ok if you aren’t in a place to do that.
There are a ton of loving adoptive families who are in a financial position to give a child everything they could ever want, including a stable, loving home with both a mother and father. If you think you might not be able to provide those necessary things for your baby, then adoption isn’t even close to selfish. It’s the exact opposite.
More People to Love a Child is Never Selfish
If you choose to say to another family, “Please adopt my baby,” then you not only get to choose the family who will adopt your baby, you can choose to still be a part of the baby’s life. Double the love!
When you choose an adoptive family from the many options online at Lifetime Adoption, you have the option to arrange a plan with that family to still be a part of the child’s life after he or she is adopted.
The first step is to call an adoption coordinator and get all the information about how you can move forward, take control of your life, and make the decisions that will give both you and baby the best chance for happiness. Once you talk through all the choices you have, you’ll realize that asking another family to adopt your baby isn’t selfish at all.
Your Child’s Happiness Depends on Yours
Have you ever heard the phrase, “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy?” It’s stitched on throw pillows and painted on cute signs that hang in kitchens, but it really is a universal truth. If mom isn’t happy, it’s a lot harder for her children to be happy.
Allowing another family to raise your child gives you more options for finding happiness in your own life. If you struggle and are unhappy, it will make it hard to create a happy environment for your baby to grow up in.
And if you still want to be a part of your child’s life, you can choose open adoption. This way you get to work on your own happiness while still giving your baby a great chance for a happy childhood too.
Mardie Caldwell, C.O.A.P., is nationally recognized as an expert on open adoption. A Certiﬁed Open Adoption Practitioner (C.O.A.P.), Caldwell is the founder of Lifetime Adoption Center, established in 1986. She has assisted in over 2,000 successful adoptions and was one of the ﬁrst adoption professionals on the Internet.
Caldwell’s life work is dedicated to educating and helping birth parents find the right adoptive parents for their child. She spreads the word about modern adoption through speaking appearances, webinars, online resources, and as a podcast show host.
She has written several award-winning books, including So I Was Thinking About Adoption, the first book of its kind. There are many reasons women choose adoption, and this short book is a comprehensive resource to make the best plan for you and your baby. Caldwell wrote So I Was Thinking About Adoption as a handy guide to the details of the adoption process.
Caldwell has made over 150 media appearances, including ABC News, CBS News, Larry King Live, CNN Headline News, NBC’s The Today Show, CNN’s The Campbell Brown Show, NBC News, KGO Newstalk Radio, CNN’s Black in America II, MSNBC, Fox, PBS, BBC, and Dr. Laura.