An Unplanned Pregnancy?! Can My Mom Raise My Baby?

“I got pregnant when I was a sophomore in high school. It definitely wasn’t planned, and I suddenly realized that I was pregnant by a guy that I didn’t even love. But, I had to handle the situation that I was in.

The thought ‘my mom can raise my baby’ passed through my mind.  But when I thought about everything, I was embarrassed to think such a thing. I had to really think about my pregnancy choices: abortion, parenting, and adoption…

I quickly decided that abortion was out. In my heart, I felt that it was a bad thing to do. And I’d heard some horror stories from people who had abortions. This girl in my math class told me she bled a lot after the procedure. Another girl said her boyfriend made her do it and it was the worst decision that she’d ever made.

Then I thought for a little bit that I could make it work to become a mother. But then I thought about everything a baby needs; how would I afford to buy all of it? I could work, but that would mean dropping out of high school. And, it would also mean I’d have to place my baby in daycare all day and never see them anyways. The other thing that I thought was that my mom could raise my baby with me. But, I knew I didn’t have much to offer a child at that point in my life. 

At one of my early prenatal visits, I saw a brochure about adoption in the waiting room. It talked about how I could be involved in the process, including picking the parents who I wanted my baby to grow up with. With adoption, I realized that I’d be able to give my child all of the things I wasn’t able to at 16: two parents and the money to afford what my child would need. I decided on adoption because I wanted my baby to have the best life possible.

Next, I called an adoption coordinator at Lifetime to get started with my adoption plan. She was so nice, and walked me through every step of the process. I made what I feel was the best decision for me and my baby.

There’s so much that I want to achieve in life and I felt bad thinking that my mother could end up raising my baby. I know my life will be better for having done adoption, and I know that this baby’s life will be better too.”

If you are experiencing an unplanned pregnancy and considering adoption, Lifetime’s coordinators are always here to talk if you need your questions answered. Free, non-judgemental, confidential counseling is available day or night, 24/7.

Written by Mardie Caldwell Certified Open Adoption Practitioner

Mardie Caldwell, C.O.A.P., is nationally recognized as an expert on open adoption. A Certified Open Adoption Practitioner (C.O.A.P.), Caldwell is the founder of Lifetime Adoption Center, established in 1986. She has assisted in over 2,000 successful adoptions and was one of the first adoption professionals on the Internet.

Caldwell’s life work is dedicated to educating and helping birth parents find the right adoptive parents for their child. She spreads the word about modern adoption through speaking appearances, webinars, online resources, and as a podcast show host.

She has written several award-winning books, including So I Was Thinking About Adoption, the first book of its kind. There are many reasons women choose adoption, and this short book is a comprehensive resource to make the best plan for you and your baby. Caldwell wrote So I Was Thinking About Adoption as a handy guide to the details of the adoption process.

Caldwell has made over 150 media appearances, including ABC News, CBS News, Larry King Live, CNN Headline News, NBC’s The Today Show, CNN’s The Campbell Brown Show, NBC News, KGO Newstalk Radio, CNN’s Black in America II, MSNBC, Fox, PBS, BBC, and Dr. Laura.

Read More About Mardie Caldwell