“Can I Choose Adoption Without the Father Knowing?”

by | Feb 24, 2017 | Birth Parent Blog

baby's father isn't cool with adoptionQuestion: “I think adoption is the best choice for the situation I’m in right now. But I don’t think my baby’s father will be cool with it. Can I put my baby up for adoption without the birth father knowing?”

Answer: Lifetime will help you make an adoption plan no matter what situation you’re in. We can work together with an adoption attorney to make sure that everything is done legally and safely. Since every adoption situation is unique, the attorney will help determine how to move forward with your adoption plan. Legal assistance for your adoption is provided at no cost to you.

If your baby’s father is unsupportive of your adoption plan, he may need to show his desire to be a father, to keep his parental rights. He’ll need to show he’s ready and able to be a dad by providing support. Most states require that the birth father provides financial support to the pregnant mother. If he doesn’t, he might be unable to stop the adoption.

It’s important that you’re upfront and truthful with him right now. If you don’t want to speak with him, the adoption attorney and Lifetime Adoption can communicate with him for you. The attorney will look into your situation and decide if the adoption can go forward without his approval.

We’ve worked with many women who share with us that the birth father continues to just come into and out of your life when he wants. Is it important to you that you see your child raised in a stable two-parent household? If so, think about his behavior and how it might play out in the future.

The adoption attorney will take a look at the situation, and may speak with the father about his rights and attempt to continue your adoption plan with or without his consent.

Your baby’s father may be against the adoption plan out of uncertainty and fear. It could be that he just doesn’t understand the adoption process and that he has rights too. Having Lifetime educate him about how the process plays out, and how he can work with you during your adoption journey may change his opinion. We’ll help him learn about his adoption legal rights as a birth father. You can also download a free e-book about how adoption works by going to FreeAdoptionBook.com, and then forward him the download to he can learn more too.


Contact Lifetime Adoption today at 1-800-923-6784. We can talk with you about your situation in more detail and give you more info.

Heather Featherston

Written by Heather Featherston

As Vice President of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.

Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.

As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.

Read more about Heather Featherston

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