A guy asked us just last week: “My girlfriend is pregnant and wants to give our baby away for adoption. I’m against it. Can I fight against it or is it out of my control?”
Keep reading to find out the answer!
The truth is, no, it isn’t out of your control. We encourage you to learn more about open adoption. With open adoption, you can still be part of your child’s life. It’s a good option, particularly if you aren’t ready to parent a child.
Are you giving your girlfriend any financial or emotional support now, throughout her pregnancy? These are both things that come into play when thinking about the adoption decision.
Ask yourself, why does she want to make an adoption plan? Maybe she has educational and career plans and having a baby isn’t part of them. Maybe she already has children and can’t afford to feed another baby. Or, it could be that she knows your relationship isn’t strong enough for such a life-changing event as becoming parents.
Adoption is one of those decisions in life that is selfless. You make a decision based on what is best for your child, in spite of your own desires. We ask that you talk to your girlfriend more. Instead of talking about what each of you wants, talk about the life you want your child to have. Looking at waiting families online can sometimes help you learn about the possibilities with adoption.
Here are a few links so you can learn more about birth father rights:
Questions Frequently Asked by Birth Fathers
What Are My Responsibilities as a Birth Father?
Adoption Truth: Birth Fathers Can Have Part in Open Adoption Too
If you like to talk to someone right now about placing your baby for adoption, call Lifetime at 1-800-923-6784.
As Vice President of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.
Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.
As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.