Q: “I need some major advice on whether or not to put my unborn baby boy up for adoption.. i had just found out today that its a boy, but im scared i cant raise this baby alone and im scared that my boyfriend and i arent going to last. Ever since he found out i was pregnant hes treated me terribly and when we fight he claims that the baby will automatically go to him. He says he’s excited for the baby to be born, but after our constant fighting im not sure i want to raise a baby with him. Please help, what should i do?”

A: Ask yourself a few questions about your guy before deciding what to do. Don’t just assume what he says is what he is going to do; no man should force a woman to do something she doesn’t want to do.

You have options, so find out what needs to be done, let the dust settle on the facts and then make the decision based on what is best for everyone, especially for your child.

Here are some questions to ask yourself:

• Is the father of this baby one that you would want to grow old with?

• Does he have the qualities to be a good role model for your child and future children?

• Is he responsible? Does he have a job?

• Does he party, drink too much, or do drugs?

• Has he been faithful to you? Where is he now?

• Does he have any other children? What kind of father is he to those kids?

• Do your family and friends like him? Or do they think he is a loser?

• Does he have a past you know of or maybe suspect is not very good?

• Are you putting your child and your life at risk by parenting this child?

• Would you want your daughter to grow up and marry a man just like this guy? If your child is a boy, would you want him to grow up and be just like him? Children learn from the people they are around.

• Does he have a respectful relationship with his parents?

• Does this man have any background of verbal or physical abuse or sexual misconduct?

Take a look at your man right now. Look at his personality, the way he treats his family, the way he treats you, and you will know what kind of father he is going to be. Understanding who your man truly is will set you free to make decisions about your relationship and about parenthood with a clearer perspective than you ever thought possible.

This info was pulled from our magazine, Lifetime Adoption Magazine. Get yourself a copy for FREE by calling us at 1-800-923-6784.

Written by Heidi Keefer

Heidi Keefer is a Content Creator for Lifetime Adoption and has 15 years of experience in the field of adoption. An author of thousands of blog posts over the years, Heidi enjoys finding new ways to educate and captivate Lifetime’s ever-growing list of subscribers.

Heidi has a keen eye for misplaced apostrophes, comma splices, and well-turned sentences, which she has put to good use as a contributor to Lifetime’s award-winning blogs. She has written and published hundreds of adoption articles which explore the various facets of domestic infant adoption today.