Children adopted today have a very different experience than those adopted in the 1950’s and 1960’s when closed adoption was the only option. Back then, parents sat down with the child, often at age 12 or 13, and explained that they were adopted.

Nowadays, a child is told from the beginning that they were adopted and chosen. They explain the love that led their parents to adoption and the trust that the birth parents had in selecting them. They tell the child their own unique story in an age-appropriate way that honors the adoption decision.

In this short video, Julia from Lifetime Adoption answers two questions we often hear from expectant mothers: “Will my baby hate me for placing them for adoption?” and “Is it selfish to consider adoption for my baby?” Plus, you can hear from one adoptee, Alexa, about her positive adoption experience:

Research shows that as children know the truth from a very young age, they understand their beginnings and feel more confident. Adoption is no longer odd or rare, but common and another way that families are created. Today, with the increase of trans-racial and international adoption as well as adoption by celebrities, it is very mainstream and accepted.

The fear that your child will hate you is understandable, but it is based in your own grief and loss when thinking about the situation. Saying goodbye is difficult and painful but you will always be your child’s birth mother, his first mother, and adoption will never change that.

With the options for ongoing contact in open adoption today, your goodbye is not forever. You can continue to stay in touch with the adoptive parents and your child. Learn more about adoption by reading the free book So I Was Thinking About Adoption, you can download it for free at

Heather Featherston
Written by Heather Featherston

As Vice President of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.

Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.

As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.

Read more about Heather Featherston


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