Question: I’m pretty sure adoption is right for me and my baby. I’ve been dating my baby’s daddy off and on, and I am having second thoughts that maybe we could create a life together. Should we just get married and try to raise our child together, even if I don’t love him?
Answer: The chances of the marriage being successful are against you because you would be marrying for the wrong reason. So, you’ll have to come to a decision of whether you’re willing to be in a marriage that is unstable to begin with. The best option for any child is to raise them in a loving and secure home. An adoptive family can provide for and give your child a good role model of what a healthy marriage and family is all about, and this gives a child healthy self image.
Statistics show that getting married because you are pregnant means that you’ll be starting out with a greater chance of failure than in a relationship that has had time to develop. The timing of getting married must be right with a guy who is responsible and ready to settle down and provide for his family. It’s a good idea to ask yourself if you see your boyfriend as a good role model for your child. If not, and if you both are not equally ready to make sacrifices to provide a secure family life for your child, it is wise to consider adoption. Give yourself time to think about what you want out of your life, before adding the responsibilities of parenting.
As Vice President of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.
Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.
As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.