Dear Mardie,
I need help,i dont know how to let my mother know that im pregnant. And also im afraid of what others are going to be saying, since i was always seen as a “good girl” and always involved at church and my community, and i always had the grades…please help me
-Jenni, 16

Dear Jenni,
There are times when your parents may not be the easiest people in the world to talk with, and it is even worse if the subject of the conversation is something that you know will be upsetting. The important thing to remember is that if you are pregnant, your parents are the people who are in the best position to help you handle this and make responsible decisions.

Choose a time when you will have complete privacy with your mom and dad, as well as their attention. Tell them that you have to talk to them about a serious matter and ask them if they will not interrupt you until you have finished. If you would rather tell your mother first, and later your father, then pursue that option. However you choose to do it, pick your time wisely, when they aren’t agitated for another reason already.

If you feel like you really can’t talk to your parents alone, bring a friend or another family member that you are close to. Choose someone you know will support you regardless of what decision you make.

From the first word you utter, be completely honest with your parents. Tell them exactly what your problem is and ask them for their help. Your parents love you and they will want to be there to support you through this difficult time.

Start the conversation with the maturity that you will need from now on. You are in a tough situation and facing it in an adult way will make the road a little less rocky. Avoid arguing and sarcasm; remember your parents may be the best friends you could have at this time in your life.

After the first waves of shock have subsided, talk with your parents about how you will handle this situation. If you have decided to keep your baby, be sure your parents are in agreement if you are expecting money, help, or support from them. It must be understood that if a young mother decides to live with her parents and keep her baby, it is very important that all parties involved including grandparents know that the responsibility and care for that child lies with the mother. Things could end up very messy later on if a line is not drawn.
Your parents can help you during this time.

If adoption is what you have in mind, ask your parents for their full support in this decision. After thinking the situation through, they will likely be very supportive in this decision. Learn about your options with open adoption, including the contact you and your family can have with your child and the adoptive family. You can even choose your baby’s parents and meet them beforehand!

Remember, your parents will very likely be pretty upset by this news; they love you very deeply and they probably had dreams for you that a pregnancy may likely put an end to. All parents want their children to be successful and happy and having a child at a young age tends to make achieving success a much more difficult accomplishment. Hang in there because that same love that is spurring their anger will win out and they will very likely want to stand by you through this difficult time in your life.

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Lifetime Adoption
Written by Lifetime Adoption

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