Close-up of a pregnant woman with an ultrasound photo in her pocket“I am pregnant.”

These may be words you thought you’d never say. Or you thought you wouldn’t say them until you were older. But to your surprise, you’ve just found out you’re pregnant. You’re surprised and scared, and aren’t quite sure what to do. You just aren’t ready to be a mom.

No matter the reason, the truth is that not all pregnant women are ready to parent. But now that you are pregnant, you will have to make some decisions about what to do.

There are some decisions you need to make right away. The most important is how you will get medical care for yourself now that you’re pregnant. This is called pre-natal care, and the sooner you can get it, the better. If you smoke, drink, or use drugs, stop right away. If you can, go to a pharmacy and buy pre-natal vitamins and follow what the directions say.

You are probably worried about how to afford a doctor. There are many ways to get help paying for your pre-natal care. Start by calling Lifetime at 1-800-923-6784 and they will point you in the right direction.

Another decision to make is how you will let people know you are pregnant. You should tell people yourself before they guess on their own. It may not be easy to do, but the best thing is to be honest. Just saying “I am pregnant” is enough.

If you are a teen, telling your parents might be the hardest thing to do. Find a quiet time to sit down with your parent and be prepared to answer a lot of questions. They will be shocked and maybe disappointed or angry, but after the initial shock wears off, they will likely be the ones who will best support you through this time. If you think you aren’t safe at home, and are really scared to tell your parents, call Lifetime at 800-923-6784 and ask for advice.

Hopefully your friends and community will support you, but they might not. This time may or may not be a difficult one for you. If it is, the best policy is going to be one of honesty and of putting yourself and your child first. Stick close to those who support you, and ask for help whenever you need it.

Remember: you don’t always have to be in a hurry to tell everyone (other than your parents) that you are pregnant. In fact, it may be best to wait until you know what you’re going to do about the pregnancy.

If you aren’t ready to be a mom but you want to be sure your child has the opportunity for a wonderful life, adoption is a choice you can be proud of. You can create a customized adoption plan for your child where you control every decision in the process, from who the parents are to how it goes at the hospital.

It might feel scary to think you’ll have to part with your child. But there are types of adoption that will let you to pick the family who adopts your child, and even to let you see your child as he or she grows. Once you’ve decided on adoption, or even if you aren’t sure but want to know more, call Lifetime at 1-800-923-6784 to talk to an adoption professional who can help you decide what to do next.

Heather Featherston
Written by Heather Featherston

As Vice President of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.

Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.

As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.

Read more about Heather Featherston


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