If parenting has been a real struggle lately and you feel that you just can’t provide your child with everything you’d like to, you may have thought about adoption. For most women, when they first hear about adoption, they think, “How could I adopt out my child?!” Adoption is often done out of love for a child. That love is so huge that you’ve started thinking about doing what’s best for your child. You’ve started to consider making an adoption plan for your older child.
So, WHY would a mother place her child for adoption? There are lots of reasons why a mother could make this decision, but lots of times it’s for financial reasons. She just can’t make ends meet and her child is growing up without. Doing adoption doesn’t mean she doesn’t loves her child. It means she has so much love for her child that she wants to make sure that her child’s life has everything they deserve. Right now her life, she just can’t provide them all.
In other cases, the child’s father isn’t around. That leaves her with all of the bills which often means two jobs, and sometimes more. Also, if she doesn’t have any help from her family, the daycare bills get higher and higher the more she works.
Obviously, no mother in this situation wants to place their child for adoption. However, adoption might not be as awful as you may think. Think about this: today, the mother is always in control of her adoption plan. If you’re worried that your child won’t remember you, or will wonder why you did adoption, you can handle these fears by making an adoption plan that’s customized to your needs and your child’s needs.
So you could pick an adoptive family who lives near you; that way, you’d be able to have visits with your child more often. Lifetime is able to find an adoptive family who are ready to have this type of an adoption plan, also known as “open adoption”. Choosing open adoption or semi-open adoption allows you to confirm that your child is growing up loved and taken care of. Your child will also be able to know that you love them, and why you chose adoption.
On the other hand, you might feel that seeing your child with someone else would just be too hard. If so, you can choose a more closed adoption. The type of adoption plan you choose depends on what you feel is the best for yourself and your child.
You’re able to learn more about adoption for your child without being required to do adoption. Many women have contacted Lifetime to talk about their options and get info, but then they decide to keep parenting.
We realize that this is a tough time in your life, but remember you are in control of the situation. If you decide that making an adoption plan for your older child for adoption is best for him or her, as well as yourself, know that Lifetime always has an adoptive family who will meet just what you’re looking for.
If you’d like to learn more about your choices in older child adoption, please call Lifetime Adoption at
1-800-923-6784. You can also start learning more about adoptive families hoping to adopt an older child.
As the Chief Operating Officer (COO) of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.
Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.
As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.