A lot of confusion surrounds the question, “How does adoption work?” You don’t have to be in the dark anymore, or believe the myths that really aren’t true. It’s true that there are different adoption experiences, and it works differently in different states and agencies, but here are some of the common myths that just aren’t true at Lifetime Adoption.
1. I will never see my baby again
In some cases that might be true, but not with an open adoption. When you decide to give your baby to another family, you get to choose the family. Once you start the adoption process and some of the paperwork is out of the way, you get to look through a ton of family profiles to choose the loving family that’s right for you and your baby. If you choose a family that agrees to an open adoption, then you don’t have to say goodbye forever. You can watch the child grow, and in some cases even have contact and be a part of the child’s life.
2. Adoption is really expensive
Not for the birth mother. Adoptive families generally carry the financial burden of adoption, and even help the birth mother with some of the costs of being pregnant and living safely and comfortably in some cases. After you decide on a family and the agreement is made, you and the adoptive family can work out ways they may be able to help you. You most certainly don’t have to pay to have someone adopt your baby.
3. Adoption is only for babies
For many women, it’s not just a pregnancy that can cause enough stress to consider adoption. An abusive relationship that puts children in harm’s way, too many personal obligations, and even facing jail time can be just some of the reasons that a mother might choose to give an older child the gift of going to live with an adoptive family. Babies aren’t the only ones who get a second chance. How does adoption work for older children? There are a lot of families who would decide to adopt an older child, simply because they would rather skip the helpless baby stages. You can decide on an adoptive family from a list of ones that are looking for older children.
4. Giving up my child is the selfish choice
This couldn’t be more wrong. Sadly, there may even be people in your life who want you to keep the baby, who might try to convince you that adoption is a selfish choice. The truth is that not having the security, financial resources, or desire to raise a child is a great reason to let an adoptive family do it. For many adoptive families, getting to raise a child is a dream that they can’t have without children to adopt, and allowing your baby to have the best chance at their happiest life is the greatest gift you could ever give them. It most certainly isn’t selfish to consider adoption.
5. My child will grow up resenting me if I choose adoption
The reality is that children who grow up in caring homes with a feeling of safety and security, knowing that they were wanted and loved, grow up to be confident, happy adults. It doesn’t really matter who gave birth to you or where your DNA comes from if you have people around you who love and care for you. In time, the child will most likely even be grateful for all the care and opportunity your adoption choice gave them.
Lifetime Adoption is the nationwide leader in domestic, open adoption, and has helped thousands of pregnant and new moms find great families to love and care for their children. If you think you might be interested in adoption, visit the Lifetime Adoption website or call 800.923.6784 for more information about how adoption works.
As the Chief Operating Officer (COO) of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.
Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.
As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.