If you’re already decided that adoption is the right choice for you, you might be wondering how to handle family member’s questions during the holidays. When you go to Christmas and holiday parties and are “showing”, how will you respond to their questions?
We’ve put together a few ideas and tips for you on you might handle this situation.
If you’re still in your teens and pregnant, your parents will be the best people to help you handle your situation. Maybe you’re wondering, “how do I tell my parents I’m pregnant?” Here’s a great link with tips on how to tell them. If you’re thinking about doing adoption for your baby, ask your parents for their full support in your decision. It can help if you go over questions with your parents such as where you’d live if you parented, how you’d make money to support your child, and how you’d have time to continue going to school. After thinking the situation through, they will probably be more supportive in the choice of adoption.
If you’re pregnant and are trying to hide the fact that you’re doing adoption, know that the truth will probably come out at some point. So it’s good to have a plan of action in place if you are hiding it. Think it through; it might be good to talk to your family about it. Think about how it’ll affect your living situation. Also, if you’re keeping your plans of adoption a secret, think about what you’ll do when you give birth. What’s the plan so your family won’t find out? If you already have kids, who will watch them when you go into labor? What will you tell family when you start showing? It’ll greatly help you if you have a firm plan in place, and believe that your plan is the best for your baby and you too.
As you arrive at family gatherings over the holidays and are pregnant, some people may ask you nosy questions such as “are you sure you’re ready to be a mom right now?!” Think about it–is anyone really ever ready? There are a lot of aspects to adoption AND motherhood to consider, and neither are something that should be entered into lightly. You might respond with something like, “I have a lot of time to think about it, so I can make the best decision for my baby in the future. For now, I’m just taking it day by day.”
Next week, we’ll share more tips about how to share your adoption plans, including how to handle peoples’ questions about your baby’s father. In the meantime, we suggest watching this short video series that shows what open adoption is like. In it, birth mothers share with you in their own words what their adoption story was like.
As the Chief Operating Officer (COO) of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.
Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.
As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.