You may remember that we posted last Saturday with tips and advice for how to handle the holidays when you’ve chosen adoption. Today, we continue in our two-part series…
What might be harder questions for you to deal over the holidays with are questions about your baby’s father, especially if you’re no longer together. The holidays can make having to explain who he is and why he isn’t around a painful reminder of how alone you might feel right now. You could let your family members and friends know that you’re grateful to have their love and support right now. This may help you feel that you’re not alone – and that you’re strong enough to make the best decision for your baby’s future.
If you’re planning on being open with your adoption plans, then you can share some details. “I have an adoptive family picked out…” is an example of what you could share.
If in the end you feel like just can’t join in on holiday festivities because of your situation, that’s OK too. You can put traditions aside to care for your needs during this time. Sometimes we feel like we have to carry on with life as usual…when the reality is that things are NOT as usual this year. Even if your family supports your adoption plan, it can still be hard to act like nothing’s changed, or nothing’s happening.
We suggest surrounding yourself with people who do understand and support your decision. It can really help, too, if you speak to someone about your feelings and situation. Lifetime Adoption offer one-on-one peer counselors…you can talk to a woman who made an adoption plan for her baby, too. You might ask her how she handled the holidays when she knew she was going to make an adoption plan. We’re here for you, 24/7; just call Lifetime at 1-800-923-6784.
As Vice President of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.
Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.
As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.