Being pregnant and scared can feel like a huge weight on your shoulders. Maybe you wonder if it’s the right time in your life, and aren’t sure if being a parent is the right choice for you, or your child. It might make sense to think about an open adoption.
Looking at all the options can be overwhelming, but chances are, if you found out you were pregnant, and instantly felt terrified and trapped, your subconscious might be telling you it’s not the right time to be a mom.
Lifetime Adoption is here to help you sort through your emotions, and make the best choice for you and your child. Asking yourself a few questions, and answering honestly, can help you decide if adoption might be a smart next step to help you take control of a situation that is causing stress in your life.
1. Is the Father of Your Baby Ready to Be a Responsible Parent?
How does the father of your baby feel about your pregnancy? A baby needs a lot of attention, loving care, and financial support. Do you think the father is ready to help you take on those responsibilities?
If the father of your baby has other children, you can look at how he takes on the challenge of fatherhood first hand, and get an idea of what it would be like for your baby. If he isn’t ready to be responsible for another life, an open adoption can help you find a family that is.
2. How are you feeling about being a parent?
Aside from possibly being scared to have a baby, how do you feel about being a parent? After the first phase of your baby’s life in your belly is over, there is a lot that goes into being a mom.
Are you prepared to give up your social life, sleep quality, and a good portion of your earnings to care for a child? Being a mom is a 24/7 job.
Considering adoption can be good when you are not ready to have a baby, but still want to be a part of that child’s life. Once you choose an open adoption, you can work with an adoptive family to agree on how much contact you and your baby will have in the future.
3. Do You Want Your Child to Know Why You Chose Adoption?
Maybe you have already chosen to start an adoption plan, but are worried that your child won’t understand why you chose adoption. It can be sad to think about your child growing up not understanding the good reasons behind your choices.
An open adoption lets you work with an adoptive family to decide what level of contact is right for you and your child through the years. You can even write a letter to explain some of the good reasons you had for choosing adoption, and the adoptive family can pass it on when the time is right.
4. What do you want for your child’s life?
Imagine what you would have wanted your ideal childhood to look like. Did you have the childhood you wanted, and if not, do you want better for your baby? Choosing adoption is an admirable decision to make when faced with tough choices, and gives a birth mom peace of mind knowing everyone has the best of life at the end of the day.
Open adoption lets you see the choice you have made in action. As the child grows you can get updates on their health and wellness, and the adoptive family can send you pictures so you can see him or her grow.
If you are pregnant and scared, and feel like an open adoption might be the best choice for you and your baby, call our 24 hour birth mom support line at 800-923-6784, or fill out the contact form online. We can help answer all your questions about open adoption, and help you move past this confusing time in your life, knowing you made the very best choices for you and your child.
As the Chief Operating Officer (COO) of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.
Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.
As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.