Question: I’m 16 and I just found out that I’m pregnant. My boyfriend and I have only had sex once! I haven’t told him yet, and I definitely don’t want to tell my parents. I love my boyfriend and I don’t want to lose him! What should I do?
Answer: You don’t need to make a sudden decision. Talk to your boyfriend; he has a right to know since he’s the father. Also, talk to your parents. Most girls say, “But they’d kill me if they found out!” Bring a trusted adult like your doctor or teacher to meet with you and your parents.
Abortion is often seen as a quick fix. No one will ever know, and you can go on with your life as if nothing happened. If this sounds too good to be true, it is. Women who have had an abortion usually try to block it from their memory and come to regret it. Trying to hide your pregnancy with abortion only leaves you alone to cope with the depression and regret that follows.
Many pregnant teens decide to parent their child. This requires a lot of thought about what it means to be responsible for another person. Think about how parenting will work for you…what would a typical day look like? Realistically, you’ve got to think about school, a job, daycare, and how you’d pay for child care. Don’t assume that your parents will watch your baby while you’re school, or pay for daycare and diapers.
Some teens choose adoption; it’s a loving pregnancy choice for those who don’t feel ready to be a parent. It comes with the comfort of knowing you have given your child and the adoptive family an incredible gift. With open adoption, you have control over your decision. You can pick the adoptive couple for your baby, have on-going contact, and choose how things happen in the hospital.
If you’re interested in learning about open adoption, call Lifetime Adoption at 1-800-923-6784. Or, you can send us an email or chat live on our website with one of our caring coordinators.
As the Chief Operating Officer (COO) of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.
Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.
As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.