This is one of the most stressful times in my life, but finally, I actually feel alright about what’s happening. My friends keep talking to me like I’m hiding my feelings, like I should be really depressed or something. But I don’t feel sad about this! I never thought I would go through this, but I’m actually relieved to have a plan and there’s a part of me that’s excited about choosing adoption and giving this amazing couple, and my baby, a chance that may not have happened without this. Am I missing something? Are my friends right to worry?
Adoption is one of the most important and personal decisions you’ll ever make. You’re not only taking into account the life you want for your child, but you’re also thinking about your own future. No one can say that you’re not taking this seriously! If your friends or family don’t yet understand your reasons for choosing adoption, or the feelings you’re having, give them time. You’ve probably been processing this longer than they have.
It’s normal to have mixed emotions as you go through the process of creating an adoption plan for your baby. Many women feel relief, like you described. It’s an amazing feeling to have a positive plan of action and to know you’re doing what you feel is best for you and your child. You may even have feelings of happiness as you think about the joy you’re giving the adoptive family you’ve chosen for your baby. Just know though, that it’s also alright to feel the hard stuff too.
It helps to talk about your feelings. Remember Lifetime is always here for you; call anytime, even if it’s just to talk when your friends don’t seem to understand you choosing adoption for your child.
You can speak with a licensed counselor or another woman who has chosen adoption for her baby too. You’re not alone:
Mardie Caldwell, C.O.A.P., is nationally recognized as an expert on open adoption. A Certiﬁed Open Adoption Practitioner (C.O.A.P.), Caldwell is the founder of Lifetime Adoption Center, established in 1986. She has assisted in over 2,000 successful adoptions and was one of the ﬁrst adoption professionals on the Internet.
Caldwell’s life work is dedicated to educating and helping birth parents find the right adoptive parents for their child. She spreads the word about modern adoption through speaking appearances, webinars, online resources, and as a podcast show host.
She has written several award-winning books, including So I Was Thinking About Adoption, the first book of its kind. There are many reasons women choose adoption, and this short book is a comprehensive resource to make the best plan for you and your baby. Caldwell wrote So I Was Thinking About Adoption as a handy guide to the details of the adoption process.
Caldwell has made over 150 media appearances, including ABC News, CBS News, Larry King Live, CNN Headline News, NBC’s The Today Show, CNN’s The Campbell Brown Show, NBC News, KGO Newstalk Radio, CNN’s Black in America II, MSNBC, Fox, PBS, BBC, and Dr. Laura.