Sometimes pregnancy happens when you least expect it. When an unexpected pregnancy occurs, you may be feeling a flood of different emotions, and feel unsure of what to do. While you are considering your pregnancy options, it can help to write down your thoughts and feelings in order to see your options more clearly. Here are four very important questions to ask yourself when you find out you are pregnant.
1. Will the baby’s father be a good partner and dad?
How is your relationship with your baby’s father? Pregnancy can be a time of big emotions, and these emotions might cloud your judgement about the baby’s father. There are many things to consider about your baby’s father. Will he help you financially and emotionally through your pregnancy and for the rest of your baby’s childhood? In order to answer this one question, you will have to ask yourself many others.
Is the baby’s father responsible? Does he pay his bills, and live in a safe environment? Does he party, drink excessively, or do drugs? Has he ever been, or is he currently, in jail? Has he ever been physically, sexually, verbally, or emotionally abusive to your or to anyone else? Does he want kids, or have children already? Do you think this baby will improve your current relationship with the father? Is he willing to make sacrifices to his lifestyle for you and for the baby? Has be been willing to talk to you about your pregnancy options?
2. Can you take care of a baby by yourself?
You may be faced with the reality of raising a baby by yourself. It can be easy to think that you can handle the huge responsibilities of a child by yourself, but there are many things to consider before you can answer this question. While you are considering your pregnancy options, it is important to really understand what kind of life you can provide a baby.
Do you have a job? Does your current job and salary allow you to support yourself, and pay for all of your own living expenses? Does it pay enough for you to afford the pregnancy expenses, food, clothing, diapers, baby supplies, school expenses, and medical expenses of a child on top of your own expenses? Will you need to pay for daycare or get someone to watch your baby while you work? Do you live in a safe environment? Do your friends and family have a history of being reliable, and are they willing and able to help you? Are you willing to make big sacrifices to your lifestyle for a baby? Do you like to party, go out with your friends, drink alcohol, or do drugs? Do you go to school? Are you emotionally ready to be a parent?
3. Can you give your child the life they deserve?
There are so many things to consider when it comes to the life your baby deserves. Close your eyes and imagine the ideal life for your child. Can you provide a safe and stable home life with the time and resources to dedicate to this baby’s future? How do you want your baby to grow up; what kind of life do you want for him?
4. Have you considered adoption?
If your answers to questions #1, 2, and 3 do not match up with the life you know your child deserves, you may want to include adoption as a pregnancy option. Adoption is the most loving and selfless choice when you want your child to have a safe, stable, financially secure and loving home – if you cannot provide that yourself. With an open adoption, you can choose the family to provide everything you wish you could to your baby, and even have contact with him as he grows. To learn if adoption is the right choice for you, contact Lifetime Adoption at 1-800-923-6784 anytime day or night.
As the Chief Operating Officer (COO) of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.
Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.
As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.