what to do if she's pregnant: a guide for the guysSo, your girlfriend, wife or ex just told you that she’s pregnant. Your first thoughts might be shock, fear, and frustration…that’s totally normal. But too often the guy in these situations is stereotyped as someone who denies they’re the dad, or just leaves town. That stereotype is only true if you don’t step up to the plate and play an active role in learning about the choices you have in this situation. Today we’re sharing how you can do just that.

Remember to listen to her, because this unexpected pregnancy situation is about more than just you. Right now, there are three lives to think about. Stay chill and calm: even if you’re not together anymore, she really needs your support. Even though she’s the one carrying the baby, you’re BOTH parents-to-be. Your baby needs you too, even if your relationship with your baby’s mother is rocky.

Talk about your choices, not just with each other, but also with your parents and other people you’re close to. Hiding this pregnancy from people who can help you will only add to your stress. Get info on all of your choices so that you can make the right decision for both of you. It’s important to get info about each of your three choices: parenting, abortion, and adoption. If you’re curious about adoption, check these links out: Birth Fathers and Adoption and Questions That Birth Fathers Ask About Adoption.

Don’t bail on her, because the more you run away from this situation, the harder it gets to think clearly. And, try to avoid pressuring her, because that’ll just push her away. You can play a very active role in this situation, and you have rights as the baby’s father. Listen to what she has to say, and tell her your thoughts, too.


Heather Featherston
Written by Heather Featherston

As Vice President of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.

Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.

As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.

Read more about Heather Featherston


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