Surviving the Holidays When You’ve Chosen Adoption

by | Dec 23, 2016 | Birth Parent Blog

survive christmas if doing adoption.jpgMaybe you have an adoption plan in the works for your baby, or maybe you’re still thinking about adoption. During the holidays, you might get nosy questions from your family. When you go to Christmas celebrations and your baby bump is showing, what will your response to their questions be? Today, we’re sharing some tips and ideas on what you can do.

Are you in your teens and pregnant? Or living with your parents? They’ll actually be the best people to help you out during this time. If you’re wondering, “how do I tell my parents I’m pregnant?,” here are some great tips on how to tell them. If you’ve pretty much decided adoption will be best for your baby, then ask your parents for their support in this decision. We suggest you go over scenarios with your parents, such as where you could live if you chose to parent, if you’d have time to keep going to school, and how you’d make enough money to support your child. After they consider the situation, they’ll probably open up more to the choice of adoption.

Are you pregnant and hiding your choice of adoption? Realize that truth may come out at some point. So, we suggest you have a plan of action in place. Think about it; it might be best to speak to your family about your adoption plans. How will this affect your living situation? What will you tell your family when you start to show? How will you continue to hide adoption when you’re in labor and need to get to the hospital? If you already have kids, who will care for them when it’s time to deliver? Having a plan of action decided ahead of time will answer all of these questions.

So how do you deal with the inevitable nosy questions at family gatherings over the holidays? They may ask you things like “When is your baby shower?” or “do you have the nursery ready?” or “are you ready to become a mom right now?!”  If you think about it, no one is ever truly ready. Neither adoption nor motherhood should be entered lightly. You could answer their snoopy questions with something smooth like, “I have a lot of time to think about what’s going to be the best decision for my baby in the future. So for now, I’m taking it day by day.”

Are you and your baby’s father no longer together? Holiday celebrations can make having to explain why he isn’t around painful. You might just tell your family and friends how grateful you are to have their love and support right now. You are strong enough to make the right choice for your baby’s future!

What some birth mothers have shared that helped them during the holidays was to avoid gatherings and celebrations. It’s important to take care of yourself and your baby right now. The reality is that things are not as usual this year, so it’s hard to keep carrying on with life as usual.

Try to surround yourself with people who support your decision. Lifetime offers one-on-one peer counselors: it might help to speak to someone about your feelings and situation. Our peer counselors are women who’ve made an adoption plan for their babies, too. They’ll have tips about how they survived the holidays when they knew that adoption was the right choice for them.


holidays for bm blog.jpgLifetime Adoption is here for you, 24/7 during the holidays too!

Just call or text Lifetime at 1-800-923-6784. That phone number will be answered on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Kwanzaa, and throughout Hanukkah.

We wish you peace, good will and happiness during the holiday season, New Year’s, and always.

Heather Featherston

Written by Heather Featherston

As Vice President of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.

Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.

As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.

Read more about Heather Featherston

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