The Top 10 Do’s and Don’ts When You’re Thinking About Adoption

by | Nov 14, 2017 | Birth Parent Blog

Do's and don'ts for adoptionDeciding to make an adoption plan for your baby (or child) isn’t an easy decision to make.  What has helped many women in your shoes is the knowledge that they’re in the “driver’s seat” with modern adoption.

With modern adoption, you’re able to interview adoptive parents for your baby and hand-pick your top choice. You also have the right to stay in touch with the adoptive family and your child.  


Today, Lifetime’s sharing our top 10 do’s and don’ts to keep in mind if you’re thinking about adoption:

1. Do remember that all of Lifetime’s hopeful adoptive parents are pre-screened by a social worker and are required to have background checks. They’re 100% committed to the adoption process and are so excited to become parents.

2. Don’t feel pressured to choose the first adoptive couple you talk to. When you find the adoptive family that’s just right for you, you’ll know it. Sometimes it takes talking to several families before you feel comfortable with one.  

3. Do decide when’s the best time to tell your baby’s father and your family about your adoption decision. If you need tips on how to share this news, check out our article “How to Tell People You’re Choosing Adoption.”

4. Don’t rush yourself into deciding on whether adoption’s right for you. It’s never too late to make an adoption plan: you can choose adoption after your baby’s been born. It’s best to take your time when you’re making such a major life decision. Lifetime has helped many women make an adoption plan for their child who’s several years old.

5. Do know there’s counseling available to you, at no cost. You can talk to a licensed counselor over the phone. The counselor isn’t here to convince you adoption’s best; they’re here to help you sort through your feelings. Lifetime can also connect you with a birth mother; a woman who’s been where you are and made an adoption plan for her child. 

6. Don’t pay attention to what other people think about adoption. There might be some haters in your life who don’t agree with your adoption decision and tell you that you have to raise your baby. Click here to get pointers on how to respond to those who say “I don’t think you’ll be able to adopt out your baby!”

7. Do get a list of questions ready to ask the adoptive couple when you talk to them. You’ll want to cover the issues that are important to you. Get our tips for questions to ask adoptive families here.

8. Don’t feel that you have to pick an adoptive couple because they’ve been waiting a long time to be parents. We don’t want you to feel obligated (for any reason) to place with a specific couple. This is your life, your baby, and your choice!

9. Do know that if you do speak with an adoptive family and decide they’re not the right fit, Lifetime can tell them for you.

10. Don’t believe that you’re selfish for thinking about adoption. Adoption can be one of the most loving decisions you’ll ever make for your child. It takes a great deal of love and maturity to know that raising a child can be difficult and that love is not enough to provide what a child needs to thrive and grow. 

Heather Featherston

Written by Heather Featherston

As Vice President of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.

Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.

As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.

Read more about Heather Featherston

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