Pregnant woman sitting down and thinkingIf you are facing an unwanted pregnancy, you have three options to consider: parenting your child, adoption, and abortion. Of course, because the pregnancy is unwanted, parenting is often not a true option.


           Parenting is a lifelong commitment that you simply may not feel ready for. Parenting takes time, energy, money, and resources, and you may not feel you have enough of those things to give. With that being said, it is still important to consider whether you can parent your baby.

The thought of raising a child may feel overwhelming to you now, but there may be avenues for getting the help you need. Before deciding you cannot parent your child, take the time to talk to a counselor as well as to others who have been in your shoes. This will help you get a better idea of what the possibilities are for you.


           The thought of adoption can also be overwhelming. Carrying a child for nine months then saying goodbye can be tough. But there are ways you can select the adoptive family, and even having continuing contact with your child as she grows.

           This is known as open adoption, and it is a way you can give your baby the life you want her to have, while also making sure that your child knows how much you love her. Open adoption allows you to make all the decisions about your pregnancy, the birth, and your baby’s future.


           Abortion is a long term solution to a short term problem. There is no going back once you have had an abortion—you have made the most final of decisions for your child, and it cannot be undone.

           Do not let anyone pressure you into choosing an abortion, and never decide on abortion under high stress circumstances. Get counseling, and think through the lifelong impact abortion may have, such as something called “post-abortion depression,” which may never go away.

           Even though you cannot “take back” an adoption, when you choose an open adoption you can stay in touch with your child and let her know how much you love her. Because you have chosen the best adoptive parents possible, you can go through life knowing your choice has given your child the life you would want her to have, rather than ending that life altogether.

           Parenting, adoption, and abortion are your three unwanted pregnancy options. Nobody can choose for you, but there are ways to get help making your decision. Seek out those who have been in similar circumstances, and talk to a counselor, your pastor, or another trusted person. You can also call Lifetime at 1-800-923-6784 to speak with an adoption professional who can answer whatever questions you may have about the options available to you.

Heather Featherston
Written by Heather Featherston

As Vice President of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.

Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.

As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.

Read more about Heather Featherston


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