“I’m only ten weeks pregnant, and I’ve just started to look at adoptive parent websites. Since I’m still in college, and my baby’s father wants nothing to do with all this, I know deep down that adoption is the best decision I could make.
But I’m worried about what people might think. Are people right to say that adopting out my baby is selfish of me? How should I respond when they say stuff like that?”
Choosing adoption for your baby is the opposite of selfish! Adoption is a loving and selfless decision, and it’s a positive one too. Your child will have all the opportunities growing up that you want for him or her. And you’ll be able to go on to accomplish your own goals, such as graduating college. It might be too hard for you to raise a child at this point in your life.
Right now, it’s important that you surround yourself with people who “have your back” when it comes to your adoption plan. Check out “How to Get the Support You Need During Your Adoption Plan” to learn how to find supportive people.
For the haters, you might share your reasons for choosing adoption with others. This can be a good way to help people learn about adoption and the benefits for all involved. If someone is being nosy about your choices and situation, all you have to do is say “it’s the right thing to do” and then let them think about that. At the end of the day, you need to do what you feel is right for you. Motherhood is not for everyone, and that’s OK. If you end up choosing adoption, it doesn’t make you a “bad mom.” It makes you a great mom; one who’s giving her child a fresh start with two wonderful adoptive parents. It takes a very strong and unselfish person to see that adoption is the best choice for their child!
Mardie Caldwell, C.O.A.P., is nationally recognized as an expert on open adoption. A Certiﬁed Open Adoption Practitioner (C.O.A.P.), Caldwell is the founder of Lifetime Adoption Center, established in 1986. She has assisted in over 2,000 successful adoptions and was one of the ﬁrst adoption professionals on the Internet.
Caldwell’s life work is dedicated to educating and helping birth parents find the right adoptive parents for their child. She spreads the word about modern adoption through speaking appearances, webinars, online resources, and as a podcast show host.
She has written several award-winning books, including So I Was Thinking About Adoption, the first book of its kind. There are many reasons women choose adoption, and this short book is a comprehensive resource to make the best plan for you and your baby. Caldwell wrote So I Was Thinking About Adoption as a handy guide to the details of the adoption process.
Caldwell has made over 150 media appearances, including ABC News, CBS News, Larry King Live, CNN Headline News, NBC’s The Today Show, CNN’s The Campbell Brown Show, NBC News, KGO Newstalk Radio, CNN’s Black in America II, MSNBC, Fox, PBS, BBC, and Dr. Laura.