Your baby’s birth will begin the final part of the adoption process. It’s normal if during this time you feel many different ways, like sad, angry, and confused. What can help is one-on-one counseling, and/or support from other birth mothers.
Here’s what happens in the final phrases of adoption:
1. Your baby’s birth. Some birth mothers feel comfortable inviting the adoptive parents (or maybe just the adoptive mom) to be in the hospital room for the baby’s birth. Or, you might decide that you’d like time alone with your baby at the hospital.
At Lifetime, we feel it’s very important for you to spend time saying hello so that you’re able to say goodbye. You’re able to decide what feels comfortable for you, and also how long you want to spend with your baby.
2. Consent and placement. After your baby is born, the consent process will begin. The process and related laws are different depending on what state you live in. The adoptive couple will pay for all legal fees.
You have the right to change your mind about adoption during this time. If you still feel comfortable going through with your adoption plan, then you will be asked to sign legal documents to place your baby with the adoptive family.
3. Continuing contact. You and the adoptive parents you chose will talk about how to stay in touch and how often. Your contact might be through letters, phone calls, e-mails, and/or visits. Over time, how much you talk with them may change. For example, if one of you moves it may get hard to do visits. Some birth mothers have told us that they really needed contact after their child was born, but then not as much later on.
Also, your child might need a different amount of contact as they grow up. By having ongoing contact, you can build a relationship with the adoptive families. Research and personal stories have shown that this benefits your child!
Would you like to hear from women who have made an open adoption plan for their child? By listening to their adoption stories, you can hear how the placement and post-placement time was for them. Just click here to hear their stories.
As the Chief Operating Officer (COO) of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.
Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.
As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.