Today’s blog post is a follow-up to last week’s popular one, all about what you can expect when you make an adoption plan.
Your baby’s birth will launch the final part of your adoption plan. It’s totally normal if during this time you feel tons of different emotions, such as sadness, anger, and confusion. Lifetime is definitely here to listen, and we encourage you to take advantage of the no-cost counseling available to you. Both while making an adoption plan AND after your adoption plan goes through, you get one-on-one counseling from a licensed therapist, and talk with other birth mothers who have been where you are now.
In today’s post, we’re sharing details about what happens in the last part of your adoption plan. So, here’s what will go down:
1. Labor and Delivery
You’ll make an adoption hospital plan to say how things will go when you’re in the hospital for your baby’s birth. Some of the things you can specify in your hospital plan are whether it’s OK that the adoptive family be there, and how much time you’d like with your baby after delivery. You can learn more in our post, How to Create a Hospital Plan That Works for You.
Some birth mothers have chosen to have the adoptive parents stay in the hospital’s waiting room. Others have felt comfortable enough with the adoptive family they chose to have the adoptive mom present for the birth. The choices (and rights) are yours!
It’s totally up to you how much time you spend with your baby, but we feel it’s important to “say hello before you say goodbye.” Many birth mothers have found the time alone with their baby to be beneficial. One birth mom even used her phone to tape a video for her baby. She says that by watching the video “He will never have to think that I ‘gave him up’ or that I did not love him. He will always be able to know that I loved him more than anyone else in this world!” Check out her story here: This Birth Mom’s Viral Video for Her Son Will Touch Your Heart.
2. Consent and Placement
Once you deliver, the adoption consent process starts. This process and its related laws vary, depending on which state you live in. An attorney will be able to answer any questions for you regarding the legal process.
3. Keeping in Contact
You’ll make an open adoption agreement with the adoptive parents you chose. This agreement will say how you’ll keep in contact and also how often. For example, you might keep in contact through Facebook, phone calls, and e-mails. Or, you might choose to have in-person visits too. You may find that you really need to keep in contact after your baby’s born, but not as much as the years pass. By having ongoing contact, you can build a relationship with the adoptive family and remain a part of your child’s life. Research has proven that open adoption has many benefits for your child!
What might help you right now is to hear from women who made an open adoption plan for their baby. By listening to their stories, you get an idea of what the placement and post-placement process was like for them. Just click here to hear these birth mothers’ stories!
As Vice President of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.
Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.
As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.