How Involved Can I Get in the Adoption Planning?

An African American man sitting on a couch thinking how he can get involved in the adoption process
Birth fathers often wonder exactly how much they can help with the adoption process. They do not always know their rights or even if they are allowed to be a part of the planning. Though each case is different, birth fathers who want to be involved are usually welcomed with open arms. 

Adoption and the Birth Father

The adoption process is a tricky one for birth fathers. Most planning is focused on birth mothers, and for good reason. It is her body that is changing on a daily basis. It is the birth mother who is growing a life inside of her. She is feeling the baby move, grow and thrive. The birth mother has more physically invested in the adoption. Likewise, in most instances, it is the birth mother who takes responsibility for the child once he or she is born.

The birth father who wishes to be involved in adoption planning should take the time to learn as much as possible about open adoptions. He should do his own research, make a list of questions and have them answered by professionals. He can talk over any of his concerns with an adoption specialist or counselor. He should also talk these ideas through with the birth mom. Keeping communication open is vital, especially if the birth mother and father are not in a long-term relationship..

The Rights of a Birth Father

As long as the biological father has a healthy relationship with the birth mom, the two can work together to make decisions about placement of the child. Biological dads can make requests for the traits they want to have in the child’s future parents. They can look through profiles and even interview potential adoptive parents. 

The biological dad may also decide he wants to be in the child’s life in the future. He can ask to be included in the adoption plan in whatever way he feels most comfortable. He might want to attend person-to-person meetings. He may be more comfortable keeping up-to-date on the child through email or via social media. It is up to the birth dad and biological mom to decide the extent of the ongoing relationship with the child.

Disagreements Between Birth Parents

Birth parents may not always agree on what is best for the child. In this instance, it is wise to allow the adoption specialist to intervene. Keeping a cordial relationship is paramount to solving problems, but this cannot happen if the birth parents repeatedly argue. An adoption specialist or counselor can help with guidance as well as information about legal rights. 

When the biological dad is involved and supportive, the adoption is much happier and more secure for birth parents and the adopted child.

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