Here at Lifetime Adoption, we celebrate adoption year-round. But November holds a special place in our hearts. People nationwide recognize November as National Adoption Month, the perfect opportunity to share the beauty of adoption. It’s a time to advocate for adoption and educate others about the loving choice of adoption through various programs, events, and activities.
This year’s National Adoption Month theme is “Honoring Youth: Strengthening Pathways for Lasting Bonds.” It seeks to raise awareness about developing a support network for youth in foster care that meets their needs and confirms their identity. This theme highlights the importance of honoring each child and helping professionals create a meaningful adoption journey that promotes lasting stability.
November is a time to honor all the complexities that come with adoption. Today, we’re looking back at how this celebration, the cause of raising awareness, and advocacy for more education on adoption came to be. Join me as I take a peek into the past and how adoption has evolved from a secretive practice to a nationally recognized and celebrated event!
The Origins of National Adoption Month
It all began in 1976 when Massachusetts Governor Mike Dukakis initiated Adoption Week to spread awareness of the need for adoptive parents for children in the foster care system. As the idea spread, President Gerald Ford made the first Adoption Week proclamation.
In 1984, President Ronald Reagan proclaimed the first National Adoption Week, to happen the week prior to Thanksgiving. An adoptive father himself, Reagan said in his proclamation how he recognized both the children within the foster care system and also those born from crisis pregnancies. He described birth mothers as being brave and selfless in their decision to choose adoption. Reagan also promoted the adoption of special needs children in the US and overseas. At the time, special needs adoption wasn’t usually acknowledged or encouraged by the public.
Noticing that so many states were embracing Adoption Week, President Bill Clinton extended the week to the entire month of November. He spread the word about initiatives his government created to break down barriers to transracial adoption while also encouraging special needs adoption and adoption from foster care. In 1998, Clinton supported using the Internet to help find homes for children in foster care. George W. Bush was the first president to issue a proclamation about National Adoption Month in Spanish in 2008.
Adoption Awareness Month is now promoted and celebrated in communities nationwide. Adoption agencies and other organizations often find this month a great time to help introduce people to adoption and what it might look like in their unique situation.
Looking Back – Closed Adoption
Adoptions have changed drastically within the past 50 years. Traditionally, all adoptions were closed. That meant that there was no interaction between the birth mother and the adoptive parents. Officials didn’t provide any identifying information either to the birth families or adoptive families, so the child didn’t know their birth parents and wasn’t able to get in touch with them. As the child grew up, they often struggled with personal identity because of the lack of contact with their birth family.
Adoption Evolves
Many changes have made adopting a child somewhat different today. Opinions and attitudes toward adoption have changed. Negative experiences with closed adoption forced the process to open up.
Agencies and their policies evolved slowly. Regardless of the changes, some agencies today still have procedures in place that were used 30 years ago. Many of these are failing because they are not meeting the needs of their clients. Successful agencies will continue to operate as long as compassionate and caring social workers are involved.
Some degree of contact through open adoption is by far more desirable to most birth families than closed. Today, many adoption professionals don’t offer closed adoptions but instead offer semi-open adoptions with varying levels of openness. Birth families’ wishes are now being respected, with birth fathers taking a more active role in adoption. Open adoption allows many adoptees to access the needed information to feel whole and at peace with why they were adopted.
With a closed adoption, the child often doesn’t have the option of knowing their birth parents. Information about their adoption, their birth family, and their origins is unavailable to them. Experts agree offering flexibility in adoption to meet the needs of all involved is the most successful way to approach adoption today. The adoptive parents are provided with knowledge of their child’s medical history, which helps should anything go wrong.
Closed adoptions will continue, though the percentage is less than a single digit today. There will always be birth parents and adoptive families who feel it’s best for their situation. Time will tell if it truly was. For now, the benefits of an open adoption far outweigh any other option. Education helps adoptive parents to become more familiar with the benefits to their child, themselves, and the birth parents.
Open Adoption at Lifetime
Our adoption agency encourages birth parents to determine how they want to be involved in their child’s life. While they may be choosing other parents for their baby, the birth parents can create an agreement with the adoptive parents to stay in contact with their child and see them if they want to.
Open adoptions also mean birth parents can pick the family that adopts their baby. Once the baby is born, the adoptive and birth parents can keep in touch. If they choose, birth parents can be active participants in their child’s life.
Why is open adoption a good choice?
Open adoption gives expectant mothers the peace of mind of knowing that their child is being raised by the parents that they chose and that they have the option of getting to know their child over time. It also allows birth parents to create a birth plan that works for them. From choosing the family to determining who gets to be there when they deliver, birth mothers have a say in how they want things to go.
These choices as a birth mother in an open adoption may not exist when choosing another type of adoption, like a closed adoption.
Open adoption is known to be beneficial for all in the adoption triad (adoptive couple, adopted child, and birth mother). For the adoptive family, it gives you access to birth family members who can answer background and medical history questions that you may not be able to. For the child, open adoption provides a sense of connection and completeness. The birth mother can have comfort in the knowledge that her child is growing up safe, healthy, and loved.
Choosing adoption means choosing life
It is common for birth mothers to feel a combination of grief and sadness, denial, and even bouts of depression after placement. However, the sense of hope that comes from knowing they have decided to give their child life will prevail.
Many birth parents share that, while they sit with their grief of not being able to raise their child, they feel a unique sense of optimism about their child growing up in a safe, loving home. Their child has a stable home and a solid foundation to begin their life. This stability is something that is invaluable and is truly a gift in and of itself.
We celebrate these birth parents, not just during adoption awareness month, but year-round, for their loving choice.
Lifetime Adoption
We are grateful to walk alongside expectant parents who are considering placing their baby for adoption. Adoption is one of the most loving decisions parents can make, and we are proud to do our part in promoting modern adoption.
At Lifetime Adoption, we make it our mission to serve women and families of all kinds who are exploring adoption. The truth is we love helping people experience the beauty of open adoption.
It is so rewarding to see how open adoptions connect and bond adoptive families and birth parents. If you are an expectant mother who is experiencing an unplanned pregnancy, we are happy to talk to you about how we can help place your baby into a loving adoptive home.
Lifetime Adoption’s professionals have been helping families since 1986 and look forward to serving many others — during National Adoption Month and beyond. We celebrate adoption — each and every one! We take a kind, caring, and compassionate approach to finding families for children and youth in the United States.
If you are a potential adoptive family and want to learn how we can help make your dreams of parenthood a reality, contact our experienced team at Lifetime Adoption today. We look forward to discussing the adoption process with you.
Editor’s Note: This article was originally published on November 4, 2020, and has since been updated.
Founder of Lifetime Adoption, adoptive mom, adoption expert, and Certified Open Adoption Practitioner (C.O.A.P).
Since 1986, adoption expert Mardie Caldwell has been dedicated to bringing couples and birth parents together in order to fulfill their dreams.
“Many years ago, I was also searching for a child to adopt. We didn’t know where or how to get started. Through research, determination, and a prayer, our dream of a family became reality. I started with a plan, a notebook, assistance from a caring adoption consultant and a lot of hard work; this was my family I was building. We had a few heartaches along the way, but the pain of not having children was worse!
Within weeks we had three different birth mothers choose us. We were overwhelmed and delighted. Many unsettling events would take place before our adoption would be finalized, many months later. Little did I know that God was training and aligning me for the adoption work I now do today. It is my goal to share with our families the methods and plans which succeed and do not succeed. I believe adoption should be affordable and can be a wonderful “pregnancy” for the adoptive couple.
I have also been on both sides of infertility with the loss of seven pregnancies and then conceiving by new technology, giving birth to a healthy daughter. I have experienced first-hand the emotional pain of infertility and believe my experience allows me to serve your needs better.
It is my hope that for you, the prospective parents, your desire for a child will be fulfilled soon.”
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