Birth Mother Stories: The Road To Open Adoption
There are many reasons why women consider placing a child for adoption. There are as many birth mother stories as there are birth mothers.
Some are teenagers who haven’t finished high school and aren’t ready to become parents. Others have just gotten a surprise positive pregnancy test and are considering options for their unplanned pregnancy. And yet still others already have children that they’re struggling to feed and support; adding another child just isn’t possible for them.
Just as every life situation for expectant moms is different, so are their reasons for choosing a particular adoptive family. Many young women have hopes for their children that go far beyond simply finding a roof to put over the child’s head and food to put in their tummies.
One of the best ways to learn about open adoption is to learn from women who have created an adoption plan for a child. We thought it might be helpful to look at some birth mother stories and to hear in their own words the reasons why they made the loving choice to place their baby for adoption.
The Wishes of Birth Moms
Here are some of the things our birth mothers have said about the adoption process.
“I’m expecting a baby boy and I’m 32 weeks along. I live in Washington and would like an adoptive family living nearby, so I can visit my son once or twice a year. I was a smoker before I found out I was pregnant, but I’ve cut down a lot since then.”
“I’m African American and so is my baby’s father. We’re hoping to place with an African American couple who are religious and attend church regularly. I’d like to stay in touch through emails and Facebook after I choose adoption for my baby.”
“I got pregnant off a one-night stand. Neither of us are ready to be parents! I’d like for the adoption center to pick the family for my baby. And, once I put my baby up for adoption, I don’t want any contact in the future.”
“Right now, I’m parenting four small children on my own and I feel adoption for my fifth child would be best. I want to place my baby up for adoption with an adoptive family who feels education is as important as I do. I want my baby to have more educational opportunities than I did. I’d like an open adoption with letters, photos, and visits.”
“I grew up Catholic and so I’d like to place my baby girl with a couple who are devout Catholics. I’d love it if the couple would send me updates on my daughter through letters, emails, and photos. I don’t have any insurance, so I’ll need help paying some of the medical costs for this pregnancy.”
Please call or text Lifetime Adoption at 1-800-923-6784 to start your own adoption story. We’re happy to send you free info about adoption and choosing a family as well as pregnancy resources, such as maternity clothing, housing, scholarships and more.
Start your adoption here. Let us know if you have any questions or concerns about adoption agencies, prospective adoptive parents, the rights of biological parents (birth parents) or about our process for finding an adoptive family.
As your questions come to mind, let a Birth Mother answer in her own words in these adoption story videos by sharing her personal experience through the adoption process and what life is like for her and her child now through open adoption. Here are some short videos of birth mothers sharing their adoption story, and how they came to choose adoption:
Kasey chose open adoption because she “didn’t want there to be any awkwardness as (my daughter) got older and was like, ‘Where’s my birth mom?’” Continuing to be in her daughter’s life through letters and photographs, they have developed a life-long relationship. Kasey encourages birth mothers to “be open about your cares and concerns. I’m sure every single adoptive family will understand that.” Open adoption relieves the adoptee of having to find out about their adoption late in life and it provides transparency and knowledge for everyone involved as the child grows up.
Four Birth Mother Stories: What Open Adoption Means to Lifetime
Discover Lifetime’s heart for open adoption through the stories of four birth mothers and three adoptive families, all touched by open adoption. In addition, you’ll hear from Lifetime’s founder, Mardie Caldwell, and learn more about the basics of adoption today.
Hannah was adopted — as were her four siblings. She says she was “just devastated” when, as a high school sophomore, juggling life as a busy high schooler – friends, family, track, schoolwork, a boyfriend, she found out she was pregnant. “Obviously, if my situation had been better I would have kept her and parented her,” Hannah says of her choice to place her daughter for adoption. “But I knew it was best for her to have the family that she has now. Just knowing that I’m placing my daughter into a better situation than I could provide for her gave me comfort.” Watch her story unfold as she details her emotions, the decision-making process, and then even the surprises along the way.
Rebecca’s Adoption Story
Rebecca chose open adoption for daughter and here she shares what brought her to adoption, how she chose her baby’s adoptive parents, and what open adoption means to her since the birth of her baby. Here you’ll also learn what Rebecca hopes all women who are thinking about adoption would know from her experience.
Tammy shares her story of open adoption. As a birth mother, adoption advocate, and peer support for pregnant women considering or choosing adoption, Tammy’s insights and 18 years of experience through her own story inspire, encourage, and shed light on what open adoption can be like today, and gives us a unique insight through her relationship with her now grown son and his view of his own adoption story.
Adoptive mother Heather and birth mother Chloe share their story in order to help others know what open adoption looks like to them. You’ll appreciate their perspective and insights through the bond they’ve created over the last year. The best way to learn about open adoption, or to better understand the possibilities and benefits open adoption provides each party involved, is from people living with open adoptions.
Since choosing adoption for her baby, Hollie’s life has grown and changed, and she maintains a good relationship with the family she chose. Find out what open adoption is like through this birth mom’s perspective. You’ll appreciate the insights, advice, and encouragement she has for anyone thinking about adoption.
When Adrianne found out she was pregnant she thought her life was over. She never imagined adoption being an option for her. It wasn’t until her mom placed a packet of information about adoption on her bed that she realized the pros of adoption actually outweighed the cons. Watch as she shares with us how she chose parents for her son, where this relationship is today, and about those who helped her along the way. Now, Adrianne visits her son once a year in Atlanta for his birthday. She’s also one of Lifetime’s peer support birth moms.
A Guy’s View of Adoption
Blaine found out that his girlfriend was pregnant when he was 17. In this clip below, he shares his thoughts on fatherhood, from his point of view as a birth father. After talking with his girlfriend about all of their options, they chose to make an adoption plan for their baby.
Hear about his adoption process and what he was seeking in an adoptive family. He also talks about how men see the responsibility of fatherhood and encourages other young dads to take an active part in learning more about open adoption.
When Sarah was 24, she found out she was pregnant. She always wanted to be a mom but was overcome by fear when this reality came so unexpectedly. She knew immediately this path was going to be difficult, but wanted to do what was best for her son. Sarah made the loving choice of open adoption. “I knew that (my son) needed so many things I wouldn’t be able to give him,” she says. “And that’s where I had to separate myself. That’s where I had to break my own heart to do what was best for him. I’m so proud that I made this decision for him; he’s flourishing. And I can’t think of anything more wonderful than knowing that he’s gonna be forever loved. I want birth moms to know that they can do anything.” This journey brought them all closer than they ever imagined possible. Watch as Sarah and the family she placed with, share an honest portrayal of not only the struggle, but also the joy and beauty that has come from their open adoption.
Sarah’s Story from BraveLove on Vimeo
Rebecca’s Story Continues: Questions Answered from a Birth Mother’s Point of View
Now having lived with open adoption for a few years, Rebecca comes back to answer questions about her outlook and experience through open adoption. Sharing from her personal adoption story, Rebecca talks about the beautiful friendship with her daughter’s adoptive parents. She shares insights from her personal experience and answers questions from the audience. Rebecca’s heartfelt answers will help you see the potential open adoption offers all involved.
Adrianne Shares Her Story with Her Son’s Adoptive Mom
This adoption story features two African American families coming together for one precious child. You’ll hear the story of how birth mother Adrianne and adoptive parents Cheryl and Doug grew a relationship through open adoption, how they chose adoption in general and the challenges they faced choosing adoption within their African American communities. During this heartwarming interview, you’ll hear tips from both sides, that apply to anyone considering adoption or who has already been touched by adoption.
Ashley shares about the relationship she’s built with her son’s adoptive mother over the last 9 years.
Lifetime Adoption: A Domestic and Open Adoption Agency
You can read more about what other people are looking for in domestic adoption on our page Birthparents Seeking Families. The situations listed on that page are kept private from the public; we don’t include names or any info that would reveal who they are. However, the situations there are actual women that Lifetime is in the process of helping find adoptive parents. All of the birth mothers listed there are in different stages of working with Lifetime. They might be:
- Viewing adoptive family profiles
- Interviewing Lifetime adoptive families over the phone
- In the steps of starting an adoption plan
- Getting counseling or peer counseling as they decide what to do
- Setting up WIC, Medicaid, or other assistance that’ll help them through their pregnancy and to do adoption at no cost
- Thinking about adoption using the facts, resources, and materials we’ve sent them
Are you thinking about placing a child for adoption and would like to find adoptive parents for your child? Know that it’s never too late to choose adoption. Lifetime has had birth mothers start an adoption plan from the hospital, in the early stages of labor. You could even wait to get started with adoption until after your baby is born. The choices are yours!
Please call or text Lifetime Adoption at 1.800.923.6784.
We’re happy to send you free info about adoption and choosing a family as well as pregnancy resources such as maternity clothing, housing, scholarships and more.
Start your adoption plan here.
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This form is intended for pregnant women or women wanting to place their child for adoption.
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