How to “Give Your Kids Up” for Adoption: What You Need to Know

If you find yourself wondering how to give your kids up for adoption because you’re struggling to care for multiple children, Lifetime is here to help. You are not a bad parent for thinking, “I don’t want my children anymore,” and you’re not alone. Many parents experience these feelings during difficult times.

Whether you are struggling financially, cannot parent your children right now, or want to provide them with more, adoption can be a positive, loving choice. That’s why adoption isn’t actually “giving your kids up,” or abandoning them, but shows that you love them and want to provide them with opportunities and stability that you currently cannot offer.

You’re facing a difficult decision right now, and you may even face the possibility of placing your children in foster care. We can help you through the process of making the best choice for you and your children.  Should you decide that adoption is the choice for you, we’ll help you find the perfect family for your children so that they can have a life full of opportunities. You can have peace of mind knowing they are cared for and loved by a family you chose, avoid foster care, and take back control of your life.

We know how important it is to keep siblings together when placing children for adoption. Lifetime will help you find an adoptive family that would love to adopt your children and keep a healthy agreed-upon level of openness with you.

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Table of Contents

• Is Placing My Kids for Adoption the Right Choice?
• Your Options With Adoption
• Explore Support Before Choosing Adoption
• The Importance of Sibling Relationships
• The Impact on Your Children
• How Lifetime Adoption Agency Can Help

Is Placing My Kids for Adoption the Right Choice?

To make an informed decision on whether adoption is the answer, consider:

• Whether available resources might help you continue parenting
• The risks your children face in your current situation
• Your long-term ability to provide stability and safety
• Whether you’re emotionally ready for this permanent change

Placing multiple children for adoption is a big decision, so you’ll want to make sure that you’re not making this choice just because you’re feeling stressed out for a little while. Being a parent can be rewarding and wonderful, but it can also be stressful and draining. It’s easy to become overwhelmed.

You may be facing scary thoughts like, “I don’t want my children anymore,” or “I hate being a parent.” These thoughts might stem from depression, anxiety, financial stress, or other challenging circumstances. Sometimes they indicate that your current situation may not be safe or healthy for your children.

Recognizing that your children might be better off elsewhere shows courage and selflessness. While this realization is painful, it shows you’re prioritizing your children’s well-being over your own comfort.

Examine Your Feelings

Before making a permanent decision, it’s important to understand what’s driving these feelings. Common causes include:

• Clinical depression or anxiety disorders
• Overwhelming stress from parenting responsibilities
• Financial instability or poverty
• Unsafe living conditions
• Lack of support systems
• Feeling unprepared for parenthood

Some of these feelings may be temporary and treatable with proper support. Consider consulting with a healthcare provider, counselor, or mental health professional before proceeding with adoption plans. They can help determine whether your situation might improve with support.

Your Options With Adoption

Lifetime Adoption helps parents looking to place siblings up to age seven. And even if your children are toddlers or school-aged children, you will have all the same rights and choices as an expectant mother making an adoption plan for her baby. You can:

• Select the adoptive parents for your children.
• Get 24/7 support from Lifetime so that you can make a decision that’s fully informed.
• Receive counseling from a licensed, third-party counselor.
• Take part in creating a transition plan for your children to help them adjust to their new family.
• Decide on the amount and type of contact you’d like to have with your children and the adoptive parents after the adoption happens.
• Receive completely free adoption services and legal support.
• Remain in control of the adoption process.

Explore Support Before Choosing Adoption

Before making a final decision, thoroughly explore available resources that might help stabilize your family situation:

• Financial assistance programs for housing, food, and utilities, like Women, Infants, and Children (WIC), Medicaid, and the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP).
• Childcare subsidies and programs
• Mental health services and counseling through social services
• Parenting support groups and classes
• Educational and job training opportunities
• Extended family and community support networks
• A temporary guardianship

Many parents find that accessing these resources allows them to continue parenting successfully. Remember that seeking help demonstrates strength, not weakness.

The Importance of Sibling Relationships

When placing multiple children for adoption, keeping siblings together should be a top priority. Research has shown that sibling relationships are important for children’s emotional development and adjustment to adoption. Brothers and sisters provide:

• Emotional support during the transition to a new home
• Shared family history and memories
• Stability during major life changes
• Long-term companionship and understanding
• Help processing their adoption experience

Separating siblings can increase trauma and make the adoption process more difficult for all children involved. Lifetime Adoption Agency understands this and works specifically to place sibling groups together.

The Impact on Your Children

Children placed for adoption will experience a range of emotions and need significant support. However, both Lifetime Adoption and the adoptive parents you pick are ready to help your children:

• Process their feelings about the adoption
• Maintain connections to their birth family when appropriate
• Understand their adoption story in age-appropriate ways
• Develop secure attachments with their new family
• Access counseling and support services as needed

How Lifetime Adoption Agency Can Help

Reputable adoption agencies such as Lifetime offer many services, including:

• Commitment to keeping siblings together
• Careful screening of potential adoptive parents
• Ongoing counseling and emotional support
• Referrals to legal guidance throughout the process
• Options for different levels of openness
• Post-placement support and follow-up services

You maintain control over major decisions, including choosing the adoptive parents for your children and deciding how you’d like to stay in contact in the future.

Whether you ultimately choose adoption or find ways to stabilize your family situation, you’re demonstrating love for your children by considering their best interests. This is one of the most difficult decisions a parent can face, and there’s no shame in needing help to make it.

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