Birth Mother Adoption Scams

woman lies in bed looking at her cell phone on table and worries
by Mardie Caldwell, C.O.A.P.
Founder of Lifetime Adoption

In the middle of the night, you may receive a call from a woman you don’t know. She has put off her decision to place the child for adoption until the last possible moment. She is in the hospital and going into labor. This is possible and I have seen it a number of times and these women turn out to be excellent birth mothers.

Usually you can verify her situation by asking the name of the hospital, her doctor and so on. Then you can verify the information with a phone call to the nurse’s station in the maternity ward.

Some homeless birth mothers are legitimate and will need help. You will want her safe and, if your state laws allow, you may need to provide her with an apartment during the pregnancy and help set her up with a food bank, social services, state medical plans and other services. Ask your adoption professional to verify the birth mother’s story before spending any money.

Attempted fraud on the Internet is not what it’s cracked up to be. Yes, fraud does exist and that’s why one must be careful. But the numbers of big scams the perpetrators actually pull off are few. Over the years, in the hundreds of Internet adoptions we’ve completed through our center, when adoptive parents are formally matched with a birth parent, the success rate has been about 95 percent. That makes Internet adoption as safe as any other method. It’s infuriating to me that con artists try to take advantage of those of us who are vulnerable because we are desperately trying to build a family through adoption. I know from personal experience that it’s easy to let emotions take over. We follow our hopeful hearts instead of thinking with our heads when offered a situation that seems too good to be true.  We desperately want it to work out, so we allow ourselves to believe that the person promising us a newborn baby is trustworthy. Stay alert to adoption scams! Read the following types of adoption scammers to avoid unnecessary heartbreak.

The Avoider

A birth mother who does not want to give you contact information and insists that all communication be by e-mail could be a scammer or an unwilling participant in a scheme to get money. She may not even be pregnant. Question closely any prospective birth mother who contacts you directly and prefers to talk and work only through you. She may be afraid because an adoption professional will see right through her. A woman who is sincere about placing her child should be willing to provide you with specific contact information and to talk with your adoption professional.

The Charmer

Be extremely cautious of the birth mother who flatters you, saying things like, “You are so cute,” or “You are the perfect couple.” Her charm is her way of luring you into a sense of security before she makes demands for money. After the birth, she may evade signing over her rights. She cancels appointments, promising to sign the papers next time. She’ll have your money but she may never consent to the adoption.

two women talk together about agencies like Lifetime Adoption

The Puppy Dog Sale

The most obvious form of fraud involves supposed birth parents who accept money from an adoptive family knowing that they will never place their child for adoption. They may promise the child to several families, collecting money from each.

In a common scam known as a puppy dog sale, the birth mother places the child in the care of a prospective adoptive family. A few days later, she calls unexpectedly to demand more money, knowing the family has bonded and is likely to pay. The next day she calls back, saying she’s changed her mind and wants the baby back. She then takes the child to her next victim.

Psychological Fraud

It’s rare, but I have seen it; fraud not for money, but for attention or to inflict harm. Most of the perpetrators are not birth mothers at all. In need of psychological help, desperately lonely, they want someone to talk with intimately and know they can find emotionally fragile adoptive parents who will care deeply about them and stay on the phone when they call. Their victims are manipulated into longing for the child. Sometimes they will taunt and harass the adopting couple with stories about a threatened miscarriage or a change of heart about the placement. The game lasts only until they are asked to document the pregnancy or to meet in person.

About the Author

Mardie Caldwell, C.O.A.P., is a nationally recognized authority on adoption. A Certified Open Adoption Practitioner, Caldwell is the founder of Lifetime Adoption Center, LLC., established in 1986. Caldwell has assisted in over 1,800 successful adoptions. She was one of the first adoption professionals on the Internet.

Caldwell’s life work has been dedicated to educating and helping birth parents and adoptive parents through teaching, speaking, and resources and as a radio talk show host.

Author of a number of award-winning books, Caldwell has more than 225 media credits to her name, including: Larry King Live, ABC News, NBC’s The Today Show, CNN Headline News, CNN’s The Campbell Brown Show, CBS News, NBC News, KGO Newstalk Radio, CNN’s Black in America II, MSNBC, Fox, PBS, BBC, Dr. Laura, and is widely sought for print articles and speaking engagements.

Get More Info Now

If you live outside of the United States, please click here.

“Hi Renatta, First, I want to thank you and your co-workers at Lifetime for all that you are doing to maintain a sense of normalcy and calm amidst all of the uncertainty. I truly cannot express how much it means to know that Lifetime is prepared to handle any situation even when your personal circumstances are in a state of change. We are truly blessed to have such amazing people with us on this adoption journey. Next, I wanted to let you know that we participated in yesterday’s webinar. Again, thank you! Heather and Libby did a remarkable job. I cannot speak for others but they certainly put me at ease. If there is any organization that will keep moving forward and continue to provide support and encouragement during these challenging times, it will be Lifetime.”
Chris and Amanda



Mardie Caldwell, C.O.A.P.



Funding Your Adoption



Called To Adoption



Open Adoption Webinars


Lifetime Adoption Florida Seal of ApprovalLifetime Adoption, Inc.
is a Licensed Florida Child
Placing Agency.

(License #100096562)

Copyright © | Lifetime Adoption

35th anniversary seal

Lifetime Adoption Center is a
BBB Accredited Business with an A+ rating

Lifetime Adoption Better Business Bureau Accredited Business


Small Women Owned Business


Lifetime Adoption, Inc. is a Licensed Florida Child Placing Agency. Florida Seal of Approval
(License #100084254)
35 anniversary logo
Small Women Owned Business

Lifetime Adoption Center is a BBB Accredited Business with an A+ rating
Lifetime Adoption Better Business Bureau Accredited Business

Copyright © | Lifetime Adoption

Pin It on Pinterest