Birth Mother Stereotypes

A woman pursuing a Christian open adoption may face some assumptions from acquaintances and strangers alike. It can be difficult to navigate the troubled waters of stereotypes. However, there are ways to approach the subject with grace while also offering factual information.
 
Whether you are a birth mother or an adoptive parent, you may wish to dispel the beliefs that are held by people who have little experience with the adoption process. This list of myths and facts about birth parents may serve to help you when speaking to those with false information.
 
Myth: Biological moms have loose morals.
Fact: Christians know it is not our place to judge. Yet sometimes, even without intent, we find ourselves believing in unfortunate rumors. Many biological moms are in long-term, committed relationships. Sometimes the birth mom and dad work together to make decisions about the child’s future. The birth mom should not be looked down upon for being pregnant at a time when she is not ready or able to care for the child. She should instead be uplifted for making the noble decision to pursue adoption.

Myth: Birth mothers use drugs and alcohol while they are pregnant.
Fact: While some women do use drugs or alcohol, the good news is that most of them try to stop once they find out that they’re pregnant. Today’s open adoptions often give birth moms access to medical care, advice, and resources to quit that they might not otherwise have. What birth mothers do have in common is that they all love their babies so much that they want the very best for them so they are choosing adoption.

Myth: If biological parents had more money, they would not consider adoption.
Fact: It is no secret that poverty makes rearing children difficult. However, finances are rarely the sole reason biological parents choose adoption. Often it is a combination of factors that leads to this difficult and important decision.

Myth: Most birth mothers are teenagers or high school students.
Fact: The average age of a biological mom is about 24. While a significant number of adopted children are the product of teen pregnancy, many are born to moms who are in their 20s, 30s or even 40s.

Myth: A birth mother will not want to see her baby after the adoption.
Fact: Birth mothers can choose between open and closed adoptions. In closed adoptions, birth parents sever all ties with the child. In open adoptions, the birth parents can continue to be a part of that child’s life. The extent of that involvement is decided well before the adoption is completed. It can include personal visits, phone calls, emails, social media contacts or a combination. A birth mother who chooses open adoption does so specifically because she does want to see her child grow and thrive in the adoptive home.