Re-Adoptions or Re-placement of Adopted Children
Sadly, I have seen a number of international re-adoptions, where adoptive parents have found that the child they adopted internationally was not what they had in mind. For one reason or another, they have placed the child into another adoptive home. This is sad for everyone involved. The child is now facing another uprooting and detachment. The adoptive parents feel they have failed. The birth family, if involved, feels betrayed.
The most important person affected, is the child, and what they will go through again.
A few years ago, I assisted in the adoption of a bright and happy 2 year old who had been living with his grandmother. The adoptive parents that were chosen started the process of adoption and then, 4 months into the adoption, found out they were pregnant and wanted to “return” him. Of course I was sad and concerned at their lack of dedication to parenting, but my attention was to the toddler that needed a new family ASAP. The grandmother was rightfully shocked and mistrusting of the process. It made it hard for the next adoptive family and the child to re-bond. I ask you to be sure you, your spouse, and your family members are ready to parent with dedication no matter what happens in the future. Is your personality one of dedication and loyalty to the end? Be honest for the sake of the child.
So, with this said, I remind you to be aware of the needs ahead of time. Be honest on what you can and cannot handle in the way of parenting and time committment. If you have a full time job and can’t take time off to bond with your child, then perhaps an older child is not the right choice for you and your family.
If a new adoptive family is needed, normally one can be found within a short period of time. Some circumstances might arise because of divorce or death of an adoptive parent; in which, we have seen re-adopts occur. Please contact our adoption center to inquire about the process of re-adoption, there is no judgement and no cost to you.
By Mardie Caldwell, C.O.A.P., founder of Lifetime Adoption.
Adoptive mother, author, and radio talk show host.
For more information on adoption please contact Lifetime Adoption, or
call (530) 271-1740.
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