The holidays often emphasize the longing to add a child to a family. You may even hold back every time someone close to you asks, “what do you want for Christmas this year?” Everything in you may be screaming, “All I want for Christmas is a baby!” yet you compose yourself and rattle off a few things they might actually be able to wrap under the tree.
Christmas time can be full of hope, joy, and comfort, while also mixed with disappointment, questions, and even grief, especially if you’re praying for a baby. Many people hoping to adopt identify throughout their waiting with the same feelings they may have experienced when trying to conceive, or when going through infertility.
It’s our prayer that you find ways to let your heart be light and open to the love and delight of the season, even as you wait for and anticipate what’s ahead for your own family’s story. Waiting for a child can feel heavy, discouraging, and sometimes lonely, but Christmas gives us the opportunity to connect, see the good, and look for the gifts of the season we’re in.
Table of Contents
- With God’s Help, You Can Have a Joyful Holiday Season
- Tips for Baby Longing
- Real Stories: Worth the Wait
- Practical Ways to Navigate the Adoption Wait During Christmas
- Reminder in Your Waiting
- All I Want for Christmas Is a Baby
With God’s Help, You Can Have a Joyful Holiday Season
As the author of When God Says Wait and All the Feels, Elizabeth Laing Thompson, says: “As a survivor of several Baby-less Christmases, I want to encourage you that with God’s help, you can have a joyful holiday season… You can have fun. You can stay sane. You can enjoy the life you have even while you pray for the life you want.”
We love this timeless post from lizzylife.com, entitled “When All You Want for Christmas is a Baby,” where Thompson offers 4 strategies for moving through Christmas while waiting for a baby.
Whether you’re hoping to grow your family through adoption or through your own pregnancy, we think you’ll find encouragement, reassurance, and a healthy action plan with these tips Elizabeth offers those trying to conceive or facing infertility:
Tips for Baby Longing
1. Battle envy with love and self-pity with gratitude.
2. Think ahead, and be gentle with yourself.
3. Be intentional in your thinking.
4. Be proactive in planning your holiday season. Focus on fun!
Thompson concludes: “…with focus and prayer, you can still claim joy. You can make memories and have fun. You can remain grateful and spiritual. You can stay close to your husband. You can sidestep the Enemy’s traps of envy, self-pity, and sadness.” (Read the full article from Elizabeth Laing Thompson here.)
Real Stories: Worth the Wait
Each adoptive parent goes through a different journey, mixed with emotions, thoughts, and questions. Bethany and her husband Greg waited longer than anticipated to adopt their son, but they continued to show faith and perseverance throughout it all.
“We are beyond thankful to our mighty God who took us through quite the journey to our sweet Gus,” Bethany shares. “Looking back we can see so many times where He had us go through hard moments to prepare us for the blessing that was to come.”
From childhood, Bethany always had a heart for adoption. When she and Greg started dating, she shared this dream with him. “Basically he said, ‘Whatever you feel God calling you to do,'” Bethany recalls. After a year of trying to conceive without success, they took it as God’s sign to begin the adoption process.
Similarly, adoptive mom Johanna knows the ache of waiting through the holidays. “After our failed match, I was feeling very down in the dumps that Christmas was approaching and I was not a mom yet,” she remembers.
One particularly difficult morning after her husband Casey left for work, Johanna went into the nursery they’d started setting up months earlier. “I sat down in the rocking chair, got a onesie out of the dresser drawer, and placed it on my chest, and I started to rock. All I could think of was I should have a baby in my arms right now; I should be a mom this Christmas.”
But one year later, Johanna’s story has a beautiful ending. “It’s hard to believe that it has been one year since we received ‘The Call’ and were told by Lifetime that there was a baby waiting for us,” she shares. “All of our dreams came true.” Today, Casey and Johanna are raising their son Isaiah in an open adoption, maintaining a meaningful relationship with his birth mother.
Both families’ stories remind us: the wait is worth it.
Practical Ways to Navigate the Adoption Wait During Christmas
The adoption wait during the holidays can feel particularly challenging, but there are meaningful ways to channel your energy and emotions during this season. Here are adoption-specific strategies that can help you not just survive the wait, but use this time purposefully.
Stay Connected to Your Journey
Stay Engaged with Your Agency: Keep in regular contact with your adoption coordinator, especially during the holidays. Birth mothers don’t stop making adoption plans during December. Make sure your profile is up to date and your availability is clear.
Document Your Story: Consider starting an adoption journal or blog to record this special chapter. Write letters to your future child about your anticipation, your hopes, and what Christmas means to your family. These entries become precious keepsakes that tell the story of how eagerly you awaited their arrival. Many adoptive parents find writing therapeutic during the wait, providing an outlet for emotions while creating something beautiful to share with their child someday.
Make the Most of Your Time as a Couple
Take a “Babymoon”: Use this holiday season before parenthood to travel together. Whether it’s a major vacation or a simple weekend getaway, these trips offer something positive to look forward to while strengthening your relationship. Purchase travel insurance and flexible tickets, inform your coordinator of your plans, and then enjoy this time together.
Create Local Adventures: Develop a “bucket list” of activities in your area—restaurants to try, museums to visit, events to attend. Schedule something from your list each weekend during the holiday season. These experiences provide joyful distractions and help you make meaningful memories during the wait.
Prepare Your Home and Heart
Set Up the Nursery (Or Don’t): There’s no right answer here. Some waiting families find comfort in preparing a nursery, while others prefer to wait. Listen to your heart. If setting up the nursery brings you peace and helps you stay connected to your goal, do it. If it feels too painful, it’s perfectly acceptable to wait. You might compromise by gathering essentials in boxes, ready to set up quickly when the time comes.
Prepare Your Pets: If you have furry family members, use this time to help them adjust gradually. Enroll dogs in obedience classes, expose them to baby sounds and children at parks, and arrange reliable pet care for when you receive “the call.” These preparations ensure smoother transitions when your baby arrives.
Build Your Support Network
Educate Friends and Family: The holidays often mean more time with extended family. Use this as an opportunity to help them understand your adoption journey. Share what you’re experiencing and what kind of support you need. Some families find it helpful to ask loved ones to pray specifically for their adoption during the holiday season.
Connect with Other Waiting Families: Join online communities or support groups for families waiting to adopt. Connecting with others who understand can provide tremendous comfort, especially during emotionally charged times like the holidays. Consider joining Lifetime’s online community by connecting through our webinars.
Set Healthy Boundaries: It’s okay to decline party invitations if they’re too difficult. It’s okay to change the subject when relatives ask, “Any news yet?” for the tenth time. Give yourself permission to protect your emotional well-being during this season.
Focus on What You Can Control
Learn About Birth Mothers: Deepen your understanding of the women considering adoption by reading birth mother blogs, watching testimonial videos, or attending educational webinars. This preparation will help you build a stronger relationship with your child’s birth mother. It’ll also prepare you to answer your child’s future questions with empathy and insight.
Update Your Profile: Use the quieter moments during the holidays to refresh your adoptive family profile. Add recent photos, update your letter, or record new video content. Making your profile the best it can be gives you a sense of forward momentum.
Take Care of Yourself: Maintain healthy routines even during the busy holiday season. Exercise, eat well, get enough sleep, and make time for activities that bring you joy. Your emotional and physical health matter, and taking care of yourself prepares you for the demands of new parenthood.
Reframe Your Perspective
Remember: Adoption Doesn’t Take Holidays Off: While it may feel like the world pauses during December, birth mothers continue making adoption plans year-round. Stay hopeful and available.
Find Meaning in the Wait: Consider what this season might be teaching you—patience, trust, surrender, or deeper faith. While no one would choose to wait, many adoptive parents later recognize how this time prepared them for parenthood in unexpected ways.
Celebrate Where You Are: You’re already a family, even without your child present yet. Find ways to honor your journey this Christmas. Start a new tradition, volunteer together, or create meaningful rituals that acknowledge both your current reality and your hopeful anticipation.
The adoption wait during Christmas isn’t easy, but it doesn’t have to be an empty time. By approaching these weeks with intention and grace for yourself, you can transform waiting into purposeful preparation. Your child’s story is unfolding even now, and someday you’ll look back on this Christmas as part of the beautiful journey that brought your family together.
Reminder in Your Waiting
If you could use a reminder that He is working in your own waiting-for-baby season this Christmas, visit AdoptionWebinar.com. There, you’ll hear testimonies from others who endured the waiting and are happily living life after the Lord finally answered their prayers for a child. From there, you can also listen to our friend and author, author, Elizabeth Laing Thompson, on a special webinar we hosted with her, Trusting God with Your Story.
Lifetime adoptive mom MaryAnne knows firsthand what it’s like to wait during the holidays. In this heartfelt podcast episode, she opens up about her experience waiting to be chosen during the holiday season. MaryAnne shares the emotions, the challenges, and the hope that carried her through. If you’re in the waiting season this Christmas, MaryAnne’s story will remind you that you’re not alone.
All I Want for Christmas Is a Baby
If your prayers (or letters to Santa—worth a try, right?) often start with “Dear God, please add a baby to our family…” we want you to know that you are seen and understood, and there is hope. Every month, we see God work miracles for families here at Lifetime. We are blessed to see His faithfulness in each adoption story, again and again.
We aim to support pregnant women as they explore adoption as a loving option for their babies. Thanks to the generosity of families like yours, we provide assistance, care, love, and unwavering support. Our Lifetime adoptive families stand ready with open arms to welcome both birth mothers and their children.
As we celebrate Christ’s birth, we pray that His peace surrounds you. Trust that the God of all hope desires to fulfill the longings of your heart. He knows that your greatest wish and prayer this Christmas is to welcome a child into your family.
Many families have prayed the same prayer, and with joy, they’ve seen those prayers answered. Their faith and trust in God kept them looking forward (and upward!) until the day they held their child.
As you gather with loved ones this season, encourage them to include your adoption journey in their prayers. God hears you and will sustain and guide you through the power of the Holy Spirit. We pray your Christmas is filled with God’s abundant love and unwavering hope. If we can help you achieve your adoption goals, please don’t hesitate to contact us for more information.
Editor’s Note: This article was originally published on December 16, 2020, and has since been updated.
Founder of Lifetime Adoption, adoptive mom, adoption expert, and Certified Open Adoption Practitioner (C.O.A.P).
Since 1986, adoption expert Mardie Caldwell has been dedicated to bringing couples and birth parents together in order to fulfill their dreams.
“Many years ago, I was also searching for a child to adopt. We didn’t know where or how to get started. Through research, determination, and a prayer, our dream of a family became reality. I started with a plan, a notebook, assistance from a caring adoption consultant and a lot of hard work; this was my family I was building. We had a few heartaches along the way, but the pain of not having children was worse!
Within weeks we had three different birth mothers choose us. We were overwhelmed and delighted. Many unsettling events would take place before our adoption would be finalized, many months later. Little did I know that God was training and aligning me for the adoption work I now do today. It is my goal to share with our families the methods and plans which succeed and do not succeed. I believe adoption should be affordable and can be a wonderful “pregnancy” for the adoptive couple.
I have also been on both sides of infertility with the loss of seven pregnancies and then conceiving by new technology, giving birth to a healthy daughter. I have experienced first-hand the emotional pain of infertility and believe my experience allows me to serve your needs better.
It is my hope that for you, the prospective parents, your desire for a child will be fulfilled soon.”
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