Lifetime Mom Shares Her Journey from Infertility to Adoption
Four years ago, Kimberly and her husband, Aaron, adopted their son with Lifetime Adoption’s help. They have shared their adoption story before in one of Lifetime’s adoption webinars, and we’re thrilled to have the honor of sharing Kimberly’s new adoption blog here. In it, Kimberly details her adoption journey, including how she and her husband decided to pursue adoption, how they dealt with the wait, the moment they got “the call,” and more!
Part of Kimberly’s goal for her recently launched blog, Mommy Come Lately, is “…to share a retrospective of my journey to motherhood, current insight into raising a toddler and beyond, and to provide insight gained from my experiences which will hopefully offer validation and encouragement to other women in similar predicaments.”
We hope Kimberly’s thoughtful, heartfelt words encourage you today as you move through your adoption journey!
“We started trying to get pregnant after about a year of marriage, but it just didn’t seem to happen,” says Kimberly. “On the outside, our marriage seemed great. Family and friends assumed we were completely content with our lives. They thought perhaps we had simply chosen not to expand our family. I had told very few people that we were actively trying to conceive.”
Statistics show that one in eight couples in the U.S. struggle with infertility. There are many reasons couples have trouble conceiving and many different options to treat infertility. Unfortunately, these treatments are not always successful.
Kimberly always longed to experience motherhood. But after a myomectomy which required removing one of her ovaries, “any chance for success seemed so distant,” Kimberly says. Her husband brought up the option of adoption. “Aaron asked if I thought adoption might be a good choice for us. I didn’t really want to engage the topic with him. It felt like his making that suggestion meant that he had given up hope that I could get pregnant.”
After a traumatic experience in which a fertility specialist bluntly told Kimberly, “pregnancy for you will never happen,” she decided to quit trying. “My advice to women facing similar situations is simple: Follow your own gut feelings,” says Kimberly. “You don’t have to take ‘no’ for an answer until you’re ready. One other regret is that I didn’t trust anyone enough to share my pain during the journey. This was not due to a lack of trustworthy family or close friends. However, it was because of my own personal complex. I’ve come to acknowledge that God put people in our lives for a reason.”
Click to read Kimberly’s story in full at Mommy Come Lately.
Aaron and Kimberly’s profile cover photo
“Afterward, we were happy to find a wonderful adoption agency. The first order of business was to create a profile–a booklet outlining our lifestyle, hobbies, goals, intentions for adoption, etc…It took a couple of months to complete the project and record a short video for the potential birth mother. By spring, our profile was “live” in the adoption agency’s database. Now it was in the hands of the birth mothers to select their choice of new parents.”
Aaron and Kimberly told close friends and family members that they were hoping to adopt, and they were very supportive. “The agency was also quite supportive with letters, cards, and regular check-ins from our case manager. We attended regular webinars on a plethora of adoption-related topics.”
They also got to work on setting up a gender-neutral nursery, as they were open to adopting either a boy or a girl. Once it was complete, Aaron and Kimberly made a pact that they wouldn’t obsess about the wait. “Inexplicably, I had a quiet peace, knowing that we would get selected, and at the right time,” shares Kimberly. “Even when it felt like things were out of control-there was a calmness in the chaos.”Fast forward a few weeks, and Kimberly’s personal cell phone rang. It was Lifetime Adoption! “My heart skipped a beat when I saw the display that read ‘No Caller ID.’ The agency had told us that’s how the call would display when there was a potential birth mother match. I took a deep breath and answered the call,” Kimberly writes. “It was the director of adoption services and sure enough, she had a match for us! I work from home so I frantically waved Aaron into my office.”
“We listened eagerly as she gave us a general rundown about the birth mother who had chosen us. She was expecting a baby boy, and her due date was November 11th – Veterans’ Day. The director set up arrangements for the birth mother and us to connect, congratulated us, and ended the call. I immediately fell into Aaron’s arms and wept with joy, excitement and sheer relief.”
Click to read Kimberly’s story in full at Mommy Come Lately.
It is no secret that adopting a child takes perseverance. Being chosen by a birth mother who chooses to place her child with you is an experience not everyone gets to have. Having that first conversation with a birth mother can be intimidating, and many adoptive couples feel both ecstatic and terrified. However, it allows the adoptive couple to reassure her that everything she already likes about them is true (and maybe even better than she imagined!) Plus, this first call with a birth mother can set the tone for further contact during and after the match and help start this most-important relationship off on the right foot.
Kimberly and Aaron had their first conversation with the birth mother who had chosen them the day after Lifetime’s call. Kimberly shares, “Our instant connection was surreal. She told us she was so happy that she had chosen us and repeated how confident she was in her decision. We kept in touch over the next several weeks. She gave us regular updates on all her doctor appointments.”
In today’s modern adoptions, women have rights and choices when it comes to their hospital stay. It’s up to the birth mother who will be in the delivery room and who will see and hold her baby. “We discussed a birth plan that would include us being present for the delivery. We were so excited!” says Kimberly.
The trip to the hospital to meet their baby is one of the most important trips an adoptive couple will ever take. In domestic infant adoption, parents waiting to adopt often cannot predict when they will get “the call” to go meet the baby they so long to add to their family. Babies are born at all hours, so the adoptive couple must be ready to GO when the opportunity to adopt comes calling.
This moment is typically full of mixed emotions for the adoptive couple, from sheer joy to the jitters. “We started slowly packing our baby essentials bag, using a checklist to make sure we were prepared. The agency had even advised on pre-booking flights through a particular airline as there is no charge to change flights,” Kimberly shares.
Click to read Kimberly’s story in full at Mommy Come Lately.
Aaron and Kimberly’s birth mother called to say she went into labor early. “We were downright giddy! We called our workplaces, made arrangements for our furbaby, Nico, and excitedly rushed to the airport,” Kimberly says.
“While awaiting our flight, I got a text message from the birth mom that the baby would be coming at any minute. Aaron and I looked at one another. We were going to miss the birth, but more importantly we would soon be holding our newborn son. Before we even boarded the plane we had received numerous texted photos of our little cutie. It was already LOVE at first sight for me! And I couldn’t wait to get to him.”
For many adoptive parents, the moment they meet their new child, their lives are changed, and they feel an instant heart connection that is unique. It is an instant bond that goes beyond genes. It is love that will stand the test of time. Kimberly writes that when they met and held their son, Zachary, for the first time, “He grabbed my heart, squeezed with all his might and didn’t let go! He needed me and I needed him. At long last I had become a mom. That was one of the most unforgettable and emotional days of my life.”
Zachary is now a happy and bright four-year-old who loves transportation vehicles, soccer, and music. He’s already learning the states, capitals, and presidents and can quote several scriptures.
Aaron and Kimberly continue to keep in touch with Zachary’s birth mother. They’ve had several in-person visits with his birth mother and her family. The couple recently had a FaceTime call with Zachary’s birth father and hope to schedule a visit with him sometime soon.
“Since I have never given birth, I have nothing with which to compare the love I have for him,” Kimberly says. “I can’t possibly imagine that I could love a biological child any more than I love Zachary right now. Love is Love, love is God, and Love is all that I have for my Sonshine,” Kimberly concludes on her blog. Visit Mommy Come Lately to read Kimberly’s story in full.
Are you curious about adoption but need help knowing where to start? Learn more today by calling Lifetime Adoption at 727-493-0993 or by requesting free adoption information.
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Heidi Keefer is a Content Creator for Lifetime Adoption and has over 15 years of experience in the field of adoption. An author of thousands of articles and social media posts over the years, Heidi enjoys finding new ways to educate and captivate Lifetime’s ever-growing list of subscribers.
Heidi has a keen eye for misplaced apostrophes, comma splices, and well-turned sentences, which she has put to good use as a contributor to Lifetime’s award-winning blogs. She has written and published hundreds of adoption articles which explore the various facets of domestic infant adoption today.
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