Adopting Twins: What Prospective Parents Should Know

Adopting twins is a joyous experience. A family who has been praying for a baby gets to take home not one but two bundles of joy. We are delighted to see families blessed with the adoption of newborn twins several times each year. Welcoming two babies into your family only amplifies the joy and love shared by everyone.
 
To be eligible to adopt a child, several steps are involved, including a home study, a review of your financial status, and background checks. Hopeful parents interested in adopting twins should prepare for a more thorough assessment. This process ensures you are well-equipped to provide each child with the care, stability, and nurturing home they need to thrive. The goal is to confirm that you can offer both children a loving and supportive environment.
 

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Adopting Newborn Twins

Newborn twins are an extra blessing, as most waiting families are open to adopting them. While it’s great to be open to twins, it’s best not to make that your sole goal. If you’re hoping to expand your family by more than one child, consider being open to sibling groups as well.
 
Occasionally, there are opportunities to adopt twins who are toddlers or older. If you’re open to this, it can broaden your preferences and increase your chances of being chosen as adoptive parents.
 

How Much Does Adopting Twins Cost?

While many adoptive couples hope to adopt a baby, some want to parent siblings, more specifically twins. The adoption process for twins is similar to that for a single child, but expect some increased costs. While the total expenses may not double, adoptive parents should anticipate paying twice the fees related to paperwork and court proceedings.
 
Your adoption attorney will need to file twice the paperwork, which will increase your legal fees. A birth mother carrying twins may require more frequent doctor visits, and a C-section is often necessary. Additionally, twins are often smaller and may need time in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit.
 
At Lifetime Adoption, our flat fees remain the same for multiple births as for a single birth. We don’t charge extra for twins. Adoptive couples pay for our services, not for a child or children.
 

What is the Wait Time to Adopt Twins?

Adoptions with twins do happen here at Lifetime. However, waiting specifically for twins may significantly increase your waiting time or totally limit your chances for success. In any year, we might have just two to three newborn twin adoptions happen in our more than 110 adoptions, on average, per year.
 
There are many factors to keep in mind about the average wait time to be chosen by a birth mother for an adoption match. A good first step to take with Lifetime is to apply. By filling out our online application, you’re helping us learn more about you and your adoption search goals. Our free application does not obligate you to move forward with Lifetime Adoption.
 
Once we know your specific adoption goals more clearly, we’ll be able to tell you if you’d find success partnering with Lifetime in your adoption. At that point, we can also share what to expect as far as average waiting time and what to expect.
 
We understand that coming to adoption often means a lot of self-reflection on what matters as you build your family. We encourage families to be open to discussing the hypothetical opportunities that could come up. For instance, imagine if a friend of a niece approached you about adopting her baby. Would you decline the opportunity because she wasn’t expecting twins?
 
The details of your adoption search will be personal to you, so don’t feel as though you need to defend them. However, do take the time to discuss what really matters, compared to what you feel would be ideal or best at this point.
 
Adoption is a unique process, leading two sides together to begin a new story. We never want any adoptive parents to feel as though they were pressured into accepting a particular adoption opportunity. Take time, write your questions, and keep lists of must-haves. Step by step, you’ll find the right path and the right help to get you to your dream!
 

What to Expect After Adopting Twins

Many people expect adopting twins will provide a perfect instant family. Adopting twins can be genuinely wonderful, but there is a lot to consider with such an abrupt lifestyle change.
 
Pamela Fierro is an expert when it comes to raising twins. She wrote a book, Everything Twins, Triplets, and More. It’s an excellent resource for adoptive and biological parents alike.
 
Pamela explains that when you have twins, you have two individual children, and then there’s a third piece, the relationship between the twins. So, you have two individual children, and then this dynamic requires nurturing.
 
There are challenges throughout the ages of twins. The infant stage is probably one of the most trying times in raising twins. Parents get less sleep and spend more time caring for their infants. Toddler twins can create a lot of commotion, mess, and noise. Twins can bring parents tons of joy, but they need to understand how their lifestyle will change.
 
Pamela remembers her daughters’ emotional challenges as they entered puberty. As twins grow up, they must establish who they are as individuals. They also face questions of who they are concerning this other person who looks like them and is very close to them, but it’s not them.
 

Challenges of Raising Twins

Adopting twins comes with additional costs. You’ll need two cribs, more food, extra clothing, and double the daycare expenses if both parents work outside the home. It’s important to consider whether this is manageable for your family. While some may think raising two children at once is cheaper, the reality is that costs can double. For example, down the road, you might need to pay for college for both children at the same time.
 
Unfortunately, studies have shown there’s also a higher incidence of divorce between parents of twins. The findings “are not surprising, given the stresses that caring for (twins) brings,” said Dr. John Moore, a pediatrician at Virginia Tech-Carilion School of Medicine in Roanoke. The higher divorce rate is a sad fact, but it’s important to mention so that you and your partner can discuss it and decide if you are up for the challenge.
 
Maintaining that oneness with your spouse once you adopt is essential. That means getting away on date nights frequently. Consider having someone watch your twins occasionally so you can get away for a weekend. You are exhausted and need to take time out to care for yourself.
 

Lifetime adoptive couple Doug and Katherine holding their newborn twins

Twins Bring Many Blessings

We outline the challenges so you have realistic expectations when you make your decision. But, there are countless blessings when you adopt twins, and we also want to mention those. You get a double dose of hugs and love and experience the joy of watching their relationship develop.
 
Being a twin is one of the longest-lasting relationships. They know each other before birth. Twins are very intertwined; they can be competitive and contentious but also incredibly loving. Sometimes, they’re mysterious when they sense what the other is thinking or feeling.
 
Twins are the best of friends and the best of enemies sometimes all at the same time. As a parent, it’s an incredible blessing to be able to watch that daily. At Lifetime Adoption we never separate twins.
 
We have seen instances of twins meeting later in life where they liked the same things, and they were both musical or very into one particular sport or very mechanical. Being a twin is an incredibly unique and special relationship that really should be preserved.
 

Adopting Twins

Adopting twins is incredibly exciting, but ensuring you’re prepared is essential. It truly is double the work. Make sure you have support from friends and family, as caring for newborn twins demands a lot of energy, and sleep will be scarce at first. However, cherish every sleepless moment because this phase will pass quickly. You’ll look back on those midnight feedings and miss the special time spent with your little ones.
 
Your first step with Lifetime is to fill out our online application. Doing so helps us learn more about you and your adoption search goals. Our application is free and does not obligate you to move forward with Lifetime Adoption.
 

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Editor’s Note: This article was originally published on August 18, 2017, and has since been updated. 

Written by Mardie Caldwell, C.O.A.P.

Founder of Lifetime Adoption, adoptive mom, adoption expert, and Certified Open Adoption Practitioner (C.O.A.P).

Since 1986, adoption expert Mardie Caldwell has been dedicated to bringing couples and birth parents together in order to fulfill their dreams.

“Many years ago, I was also searching for a child to adopt. We didn’t know where or how to get started. Through research, determination, and a prayer, our dream of a family became reality. I started with a plan, a notebook, assistance from a caring adoption consultant and a lot of hard work; this was my family I was building. We had a few heartaches along the way, but the pain of not having children was worse!

Within weeks we had three different birth mothers choose us. We were overwhelmed and delighted. Many unsettling events would take place before our adoption would be finalized, many months later. Little did I know that God was training and aligning me for the adoption work I now do today. It is my goal to share with our families the methods and plans which succeed and do not succeed. I believe adoption should be affordable and can be a wonderful “pregnancy” for the adoptive couple.

I have also been on both sides of infertility with the loss of seven pregnancies and then conceiving by new technology, giving birth to a healthy daughter. I have experienced first-hand the emotional pain of infertility and believe my experience allows me to serve your needs better.

It is my hope that for you, the prospective parents, your desire for a child will be fulfilled soon.”

Read More About Mardie Caldwell