An adoption plan is a personalized roadmap you create with your adoption coordinator that outlines all of your wishes for the adoption — from choosing the right family for your baby, to how much contact you want after placement, to your preferences for the hospital experience. It puts you in the driver’s seat from start to finish.
If you’re facing an unplanned pregnancy and wondering whether adoption is right for you, this guide walks you through every step of creating an adoption plan. Modern adoption gives you far more choices than most women realize — and you don’t have to figure it out alone.
Lifetime Adoption has been walking alongside expectant mothers since 1986. Our adoption coordinators are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, at no cost and with no obligation.
Table of Contents
- What is an Adoption Plan?
- What Does an Adoption Plan Include?
- Reasons for Making an Adoption Plan
- How Do I Start an Adoption Plan?
- What Other Women Say About Adoption
- Frequently Asked Questions About Adoption Plans
- Is Adoption Right for Me?
What is an Adoption Plan?
Not familiar with the term “adoption plan”? Making an adoption plan is how most people refer to the process of putting a baby up for adoption. It isn’t a simple “giving away” of a child, but rather a well-thought-out plan of action to ensure you and baby both have the best chance at a happy life.
An adoption plan is a series of decisions you make regarding your child, such as choosing an adoptive family, deciding on ongoing contact as your child grows up, and other things that may be important to you.
At Lifetime Adoption, we see this work every day for women. And as soon as a birth mother realizes she has choices and options and that there are many amazing families hoping to adopt a baby, the fear subsides. She can put a plan into place for transitioning her baby to their new family.
What Does an Adoption Plan Include?
Every adoption plan is as unique as the woman who creates it. Your plan can be built around your wishes, your situation, and what matters most to you. Most plans address these key areas:
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Choosing an adoptive family
Browse profiles, read letters, view photos, watch videos — and choose with as much time as you need.
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Type of adoption
Open, semi-open, or closed — your coordinator will explain what each means for your ongoing relationship with your child.
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Your hospital experience
Who’s in the delivery room, time with your baby, and whether the adoptive family is present: all up to you.
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Post-placement contact
Frequency and format of photos, letters, texts, calls, or visits are adjustable as your relationship evolves.
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Support during pregnancy
Depending on your state’s adoption laws, you may be able to get help with medical expenses, housing, counseling, and other pregnancy-related needs.
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Legal steps and your rights
When parental rights are addressed, what paperwork is involved, and what your options are at each stage.
Reasons for Making an Adoption Plan
Every woman facing an unplanned pregnancy has her own reasons for considering adoption. Each story is unique, and the choice to place a child for adoption is deeply personal. Here are some common reasons why women choose to make an adoption plan:
1. Still in School
Education is incredibly important, especially when competition for jobs is fiercer than ever. An unplanned pregnancy in the middle of your college years could throw off your career and compromise your ability to finish school and get a great job.
Open adoption can be a great solution for women in college or graduate school who want to ensure their baby has a great childhood while still fulfilling their dreams of an advanced degree.
2. Homeless
If you don’t have a safe, stable place to live, raising a baby is definitely going to be a problem. Safe, reliable shelter is one of our most basic needs. If you can’t provide that for your child, it may be worth it to think about adoption.
Hopeful adoptive parents live in safe neighborhoods with great schools. If you aren’t able to provide the kind of environment for your baby that another family could, adoption is a responsible choice to consider.
3. Lack of Support
Family support might not seem like a big deal when you are pregnant, but as soon as that baby enters the world, keeps you up all night, costs a lot of money, and demands all your waking hours, a little help from mom and dad will seem like a blessing.
Just talk with a few parents with no family around to help, and you’ll soon discover that a grandma or grandpa willing to take the baby for a few hours can sometimes mean the difference between keeping a grip on sanity and losing your mind.
The old saying goes that “it takes a village to raise a child,” and this couldn’t be more true. The more loving relationships a baby has in their younger years, the more likely they will see the world as a good place with unlimited potential for love and friendship.
4. Abusive Relationship
Physical, verbal, and emotional abuse should not be a part of any healthy upbringing. If you find yourself in a situation that might present any of these dangers to your child, and you don’t feel like you can even escape yourself, adoption is a responsible choice you can make.
Childhood abuse has lasting consequences that can cause problems for the rest of a child’s life. Avoid raising children in an unsafe environment at all costs.
Everyone deserves a relationship free from domestic violence. When you’re ready to get help, the National Domestic Violence Hotline offers confidential support 24/7/365. Call 800.799.SAFE (7233), text the word “START” to 88788, or chat with a specialist on their website.
5. Legal Issues
Getting into trouble with the law can sometimes leave us facing some pretty severe consequences. If prison time is something you are worried about, it might make sense to take a look at adoption for your baby. That way, you’re able to have control over your child’s future before your parental rights are taken away from you. Setting up a safe place for your baby is a wonderful way to show you care.
6. Sexual Assault
The awful truth is that sometimes a tragic event, such as sexual assault or rape, can result in an unwanted pregnancy. If you feel that a child would be a constant reminder of your assault, you have options.
Finding an adoptive family to love and nurture that child can be a great solution to an ugly problem. You have the satisfaction of knowing you gave a family the beautiful child they always wanted, and you get the chance to heal and move on with your life.
If you have been sexually assaulted, help is available. Call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) or chat online. Whether you’re looking for support, information, advice, or a referral, trained support specialists at the National Sexual Assault Hotline are ready to help.
How Do I Start an Adoption Plan?
- Contact Lifetime Adoption
Call or text 1-800-923-6784 to speak with a caring adoption coordinator, available 24/7. They’ll answer your questions, explain your rights and choices, and help you explore whether adoption feels right for you and your baby. You’ll also learn about the different types of adoption, including closed, semi-open, and open adoption.
- Share Your Story and Information
Your Adoption Coordinator will work one-on-one with you as you share information about yourself, your health history, and your baby’s father. This information can help the adoptive family you choose and may also be valuable to your child in the future.
- Search for the Right Adoptive Family
You can begin looking for adoptive parents by visiting Lifetime’s Search Families page. Search based on what matters most to you, then learn more about families by viewing their photos, reading their adoption websites, and watching their adoption videos.
- Decide on the Type of Contact You Want
Once you find a family that feels like a good fit, you’ll work together to decide how much contact you’d like after placement. This might include letters, photos, phone calls, texts, or visits. Many women like to get email and photo updates on their children and also stay in touch through texts. Some also choose to travel to visit the adoptive family and their child in person once a year.
- Focus on a Healthy Pregnancy
After choosing an adoptive family, you’ll be considered “matched” with them. So next, you can focus on caring for yourself and your growing baby. Lifetime can help connect you with medical care, pregnancy education, housing assistance, and other pregnancy-related support. In many situations, the adoptive family may also be able to help with pregnancy expenses.
- Take Advantage of Free Counseling
Lifetime offers free counseling with a licensed, third-party therapist. The counselor isn’t there to pressure you into adoption. Instead, she’s there to help you process your emotions, questions, and concerns in a safe and supportive environment.
- Connect With a Birth Mother Peer Counselor
You can also speak with a woman who has already made an adoption plan for her child. Peer counseling can provide encouragement, understanding, and real-life insight as you navigate your own journey.
- Create Your Hospital Plan
Just as you had control over making your adoption plan, how things are handled in the hospital and during delivery is also up to you. Your Adoption Coordinator at Lifetime will walk you through your choices for your hospital plan, including who is allowed to see and hold your baby and who can be in the delivery room. She’ll also help you know what to expect during your hospital stay.
- Remember That Your Adoption Plan Is Flexible
Making an adoption plan helps move the process forward and allows you to build a relationship with the family you choose, but it does not obligate you. Your plan can change and adapt as your needs, feelings, and preferences evolve.
What Other Women Say About Adoption
Lifetime has helped many women as they decide if an adoption plan is right for their babies. With all this experience, we understand the fears and emotions you might have right now and your adoption questions. Lifetime is here to give you honest info about adoption and the resources you need to make this decision.
Here are just a few of the many notes, comments, and emails from birth mothers. They share their story of making an adoption plan as well as their hopes for the future. All names have been changed for confidentiality.
“Making an adoption plan for my son is easily the best decision I have ever made. I sacrificed so much for this little guy, like my senior year, my body, my relationship, my family, the list could go on. Never in my life, though, will I regret choosing to endure the nine months to give my baby boy to a loving couple who cannot have children of their own. Through the adoption process, I have been so incredibly blessed and I feel overjoyed knowing I gave life to a family who could not make it themselves. We all have something to be thankful for…for me, it’s a new family!”
– Maddy, 19
“I wanted to thank you again for helping me find such an amazing family for my little girl. In 12 days, she will be one year old. I can’t thank you enough for making the process of finding her adoptive parents so easy! I know she is well taken care of. :)”
– Kendra, 24
“I miss my son so much, but I wasn’t ready to be a mom. I get to see him grow up and enjoy life from a distance, through the updates his adoptive parents send. He’s surrounded by so much love and affection by his adoptive parents and for that, I’m incredibly blessed to have that peace that he’ll be taken care of.”
– Olivia, 21
“The reason I chose adoption for my son was because I wanted more for him. Love was the most important of the reasons. I knew that I would have given him all the love he needed, but that was probably all I could have given him. The parents he is with have much more, and that has allowed me peace in my decision.”
– Emma, 26
Frequently Asked Questions About Adoption Plans
What is the difference between an adoption plan and a birth plan?
A birth plan covers your medical preferences during labor. An adoption plan is broader — it covers choosing the family, type of adoption, contact after placement, and your hospital experience. Your birth preferences are one part of your larger adoption plan.
Can I change my adoption plan after I make it?
Yes. Your plan is completely flexible until you sign the legal paperwork after your baby is born. Nothing is final until you decide it is.
Does it cost anything to make an adoption plan?
No. Working with Lifetime Adoption is 100% free for expectant mothers. Lifetime is compensated by the adoptive families, not by the women we serve.
What if I’m already in my third trimester — is it too late?
It’s never too late. Lifetime Adoption works with women at every stage of pregnancy, and even after birth.
What if I’m not sure I want to go through with adoption?
That’s completely okay. Making an adoption plan does not mean you’ve committed. It’s a way to explore your options. Your coordinator will never pressure you.
Does the birth father have to be involved?
The birth father’s role varies by state and situation. Lifetime Adoption’s team can explain how this applies to your specific circumstances.
Can I choose the adoptive family myself?
Yes. You can browse profiles and choose the family that feels right — filtered by values, lifestyle, location, and more. The choice is entirely yours.
Will I still have support after placement?
Yes. Lifetime Adoption provides support before, during, and after placement — including ongoing contact through your open adoption agreement if you’ve chosen that option.
Is Adoption Right for Me?
Thinking through whether or not to make an adoption plan might feel overwhelming if you are in the beginning stages, but we have qualified and compassionate adoption counselors available to help guide you through every step.
Call or text Lifetime Adoption at 1-800-923-6784 to talk with an Adoption Coordinator who can help you sort through some of these important issues so you can make the best decision for you.
Editor’s Note: This article was originally published on August 11, 2017, and has since been updated.
Mardie Caldwell, C.O.A.P., is nationally recognized as an expert on open adoption. A Certified Open Adoption Practitioner (C.O.A.P.), Caldwell is the founder of Lifetime Adoption Center, established in 1986. She has assisted in over 2,000 successful adoptions and was one of the first adoption professionals on the Internet.
Caldwell's life work is dedicated to educating and helping birth parents find the right adoptive parents for their child. She spreads the word about modern adoption through speaking appearances, webinars, online resources, and as a podcast show host.
She has written several award-winning books, including So I Was Thinking About Adoption, the first book of its kind. There are many reasons women choose adoption, and this short book is a comprehensive resource to make the best plan for you and your baby. Caldwell wrote So I Was Thinking About Adoption as a handy guide to the details of the adoption process.
Caldwell has made over 150 media appearances, including ABC News, CBS News, Larry King Live, CNN Headline News, NBC's The Today Show, CNN's The Campbell Brown Show, NBC News, KGO Newstalk Radio, CNN's Black in America II, MSNBC, Fox, PBS, BBC, and Dr. Laura.
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