Facing an Unexpected Pregnancy
An unexpected pregnancy can turn your life upside down. You may be scared to tell anyone, possibly struggling with addiction, in an abusive relationship, or dealing with depression. Some women may worry about their immigration status or fear they can’t remain anonymous if they choose adoption.
If any of this sounds familiar, you’re not alone—and our hearts go out to you. It’s not uncommon for some women to avoid facing their pregnancy, only to go into labor without having made a plan.
In that moment, with no one else aware of the pregnancy, the thought of parenting can feel overwhelming or even impossible. But there are still safe, compassionate options for you and your baby.
Choosing What’s Best for Your Baby
If you’re pregnant and not in a place to parent, it’s still possible to make a loving and responsible choice for your child.
Safe Haven laws were created to allow parents to surrender an unharmed newborn anonymously, without fear of prosecution, at approved locations like hospitals, fire stations, police stations, or designated Safe Haven Baby Boxes. The age limits for Safe Haven drop offs vary by state – from just a few days old up to one year.
These laws were created to prevent infants from being abandoned in unsafe places by providing a legal and safe alternative for overwhelmed parents.
With Safe Haven, your identity remains confidential. But this also means you won’t have any say on where your baby goes or who raises them. Your child may enter foster care or be placed by an agency with a family you didn’t choose. There will be no shared information.
Most Safe Haven locations are clearly marked, and some will have Baby Boxes that are designed for privacy and security. If you choose to use a Baby Box, make sure to follow the posted instructions – once a baby is placed in the box, an automatic alert notifies someone to retrieve the baby right away. Tragically, when these steps aren’t followed, lives can be lost. Earlier this year, a baby left outside a Chicago fire station in freezing weather was not found in time.
To learn more about Safe Haven laws in your state, call or text us, 1-800-923-6784.
Why Adoption Offers More
If you’re not ready to raise a child – or another child – making an adoption plan for your infant gives you choices. You can create an adoption plan that fits your needs, and it doesn’t matter how far along you are in your pregnancy or how old your baby is. Making an adoption plan is also an option if you have a toddler or a young child. Adoption is even possible if doctors have told you your baby might have health problems.
While Safe Haven offers anonymity, it also means letting go without knowing where your baby will end up. With adoption, you have options:
- You may choose your baby’s adoptive parents
- Receive financial help for pregnancy-related expenses
- Access counseling and legal support at no cost
- Decide how much contact you’d like after adoption
- Remain in control of the process
Safe Haven vs Adoption: A Quick Comparison
| Aspect | Safe Haven Surrender | Private Adoption |
| Confidentiality | Allows complete anonymity; parents are protected from legal consequences of abandonment | Both birth and adoptive parents are identified; a relationship may be developed |
| Infant Placement | Birth parent has no say in where the baby goes; child may be placed in foster care or with an agency-selected family | Child is placed directly with the adoptive parents chosen by the birth parent |
| Birth Parent Involvement | No involvement after surrender | Birth parents are engaged throughout the adoption process |
| Selection of Adoptive Family | Not an option | Birth parents have the right to choose who adopts their child |
| Legal Services | Baby is legally abandoned under Safe Haven laws; no legal services needed | Legal counsel is provided to complete the adoption process |
| Counseling Availability | Typically not offered | Counseling is encouraged and should be provided by the agency |
| Financial Support | No financial aid for pregnancy-related needs | Assistance may be available depending on state regulations |
| Post-Adoption Communication | No contact or updates | Communication based on birth parents’ choice, sometimes through legal agreements |
| Right to Reclaim Child | Nearly impossible once surrendered | Possible, but depends on state laws and time limits |
| Emotional Support | Not part of the process | Support services should be accessible through the adoption agency |
As this chart shows, private adoption gives you more support, more involvement, and more peace of mind about your baby’s future.
How Lifetime Adoption Can Help
At Lifetime Adoption, there’s a loving family ready for every child. If you’re pregnant or have already given birth, it’s never too late to explore adoption.
Our coordinators are available 24/7 to talk or text at 1-800-923-6784. You can ask questions, get help, and make an adoption plan – all at no cost. Everything is kept private, and you’ll be treated with respect and compassion.
You’re Not Alone—Help Is Here
No matter what you’re facing, there is support. You deserve to feel safe and empowered to do what’s best for you and your baby. You’ll hear a kind, understanding voice at the other end – ready to help you make a safe, loving choice for you and your baby.
Editor’s Note: This article was originally published on August 1, 2017, and has since been updated.
As Vice President of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.
Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.
As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.
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