Behind the Scenes of a Birth Father’s Adoption Decision

by | Jan 18, 2019 | Birth Parent Blog

birth-father-perspectiveBlaine Hall is a birth father who made the difficult decision to put his child’s needs before his own. He told us his story in hopes that it will give some insights into how other men can face this decision.

At age 17, Blaine discovered his girlfriend was pregnant. Panicked, they kept the pregnancy a secret while they decided what to do. The couple chose to get an abortion at first but later decided they could not go through with it. After this realization, they kicked around the idea of raising the child themselves or asking their parents to step in. Ultimately, they decided that neither set of parents was a good fit for raising a baby.

Four months into the pregnancy, the couple began working with an adoption agency and finally told their parents they were expecting. His girlfriend’s parents were naturally upset, but Blaine didn’t blame them. He believed he should be held responsible for the choices he made. After coming to terms with the situation, his girlfriend’s parents supported the adoption. Blaine had moved out of his house at 14. His mother wanted to raise the child herself, going as far as hiring an attorney, but family members of birth parents have no legal rights to the baby.

At the Time, Blaine Was a Rarity

birth-father-carFortunately, more and more men today are choosing to be involved in their child’s adoption plan. Though, at the time when Blaine and his girlfriend were facing an unplanned pregnancy, there were few men who remained in the picture through the adoption process. Still, even modern fathers will relate to Blaine’s story and how he chose to stand by his girlfriend, even through some of the hardest times of his life.

As a new father-to-be, Blaine knew he had no way to care for a baby. When he found out about the pregnancy, he was living in his car. Once the couple announced their choice to place the baby, they were flooded with informational packages from families looking to adopt a child. They reviewed over 300 profiles, finding it a lot easier to eliminate families than it was to choose one. They were looking for a stable couple that had been married a long time.

Blaine’s biggest focus was finding parents who would teach his baby boy, and also allow his son to live his life the way he wanted. The pregnant couple ended up meeting in person with three families hoping to adopt. In the first meeting, it was evident that the wife wanted a child more than the husband. The second couple shared a lot of looks between each other during the meeting, which made Blaine nervous.

behind the scenes with birth-father-blaineOn the Fence

Even with their third and final adoptive family, Blaine admits he was just playing the game. He had no intention of placing his son for adoption and consistently told the adoptive family he was going to back out. The adoptive family didn’t believe Blaine would go through with the adoption until baby Josh was living in their home.

Just hours before Josh was born, Blaine and his girlfriend were walking in a park. They saw a mother who loved her children but was also noticeably unhappy. She was yelling at the kids, unfairly taking her frustration out on them as they played. He thought, “wouldn’t it be cool if she could just be their friend?”

Blaine realized that he could quickly become that unhappy mom if he chose to keep Josh. That is when he decided to give his child the best chance he could. Blaine went through with the adoption. He placed baby Josh with a wonderful family and was able to be the friend to his son that he hoped to be.

If you are a birth father or mother considering adoption, we are here to help. We will never pressure you into making a decision before you are ready.

To learn more about your choices contact Lifetime anytime by calling or texting us at

Mardie Caldwell Certified Open Adoption Practitioner

Written by Mardie Caldwell Certified Open Adoption Practitioner

Mardie Caldwell, C.O.A.P., is nationally recognized as an expert on open adoption. A Certified Open Adoption Practitioner (C.O.A.P.), Caldwell is the founder of Lifetime Adoption Center, established in 1986. She has assisted in over 2,000 successful adoptions and was one of the first adoption professionals on the Internet.

Caldwell’s life work is dedicated to educating and helping birth parents find the right adoptive parents for their child. She spreads the word about modern adoption through speaking appearances, webinars, online resources, and as a podcast show host.

She has written several award-winning books, including So I Was Thinking About Adoption, the first book of its kind. There are many reasons women choose adoption, and this short book is a comprehensive resource to make the best plan for you and your baby. Caldwell wrote So I Was Thinking About Adoption as a handy guide to the details of the adoption process.

Caldwell has made over 150 media appearances, including ABC News, CBS News, Larry King Live, CNN Headline News, NBC’s The Today Show, CNN’s The Campbell Brown Show, NBC News, KGO Newstalk Radio, CNN’s Black in America II, MSNBC, Fox, PBS, BBC, and Dr. Laura.

Read More About Mardie Caldwell

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